351
Views
2.8
Rating
My 1st ever Home All By Myself This Was The Greatest Day Of My Life
Report this Story:
If you find a problem with this story or wish to report inappropriate content, click here
My 1st ever Home All By Myself This Was The Greatest Day Of My Life
If you find a problem with this story or wish to report inappropriate content, click here
Add a Comment
Note: Please report any offensive comments so we can remove them. Use of bad language, unsuitable links or flaming will result in deletion of your account - regardless of your membership status.
7 Comment(s) posted so far
On Feb 3, 2012 Hottiesheldon wrote:
Good start to the story did feel a little like it was rushed through but that could be the way you wanted it which isn't a bad thing. keep up the work,
On Feb 3, 2012 xLyennerd wrote:
You really could use some punctiation. However, it's a good start. And what Hottiesheldon said, I agree. You rushed a bit. But the story is good
.
On Feb 3, 2012 Samzie2012 wrote:
Thank you for your comments i will be starting part 2 today and will make it longer and not as quick
On Feb 3, 2012 fruitopia wrote:
Good start.
On Feb 3, 2012 starsky524 wrote:
Good start but with your next one maybe you could try slowing..........down.
On Feb 3, 2012 Samzie2012 wrote:
Can you give me some i ideas please
On Feb 4, 2012 Hottiesheldon wrote:
What you could do is try and think of a storyline that these characters could follow like maybe her husband pass away and she has to find new love or maybe she does something...but by adding more depth into the stories people gain more interest in reading your stories and follow on reading through out the series.
but yeah thats all i can suggest
good work