MediEvil 2 Episode 7: Bushwhacked
Thank you once again for all your kind comments, I really do appreciate them. My work has been really busy lately (which is actually quite a good thing!), so I've had to slow down my rate of making episodes. They'll still be trickling through though! Just check my homepage, or let me know if you'd like a notice when a new one is up. I hope you enjoy this episode, it's a big one!
Thank you once again for all your kind comments, I really do appreciate them. My work has been really busy lately (which is actually quite a good thing!), so I've had to slow down my rate of making episodes. They'll still be trickling through though! Just check my homepage, or let me know if you'd like a notice when a new one is up. I hope you enjoy this episode, it's a big one! Atra: So... Vlis... Vlis: That's my name. Thanks for reminding me.
Atra: Nice that you could join us. Of course, it would have been nicer if someone had asked me...
Vlis: Well I would have filed a formal petition or something but, you know, people wanting to have me hanged and all that.
Atra: No, it's fine. Grastion: What Atra's trying to say is, 'how dare no one ask MY opinion on something'. That sum it up?
Atra: That's not what I meant! Vlis: So, what, you in charge or something?
Atra: Yes, actually, I-
Grastion: She thinks she is.
Atra: I'm sorry Grastion, whose commands were you *ordered* to follow?
Vlis: You're a priest, right? Of Etain?
Grastion: Correct. Vlis: So what's your stance on witches?
Grastion: Personally? I doubt I would have stopped them in Old Syever City. Heretics need to be dealt with. Nothing personal, of course.
Vlis: Wow, you're a real piece of work, aren't you?
Atra: You should see him when he doesn't get enough beauty sleep.
*** Murk: Oooh, that's it, right there!
Dania: You're so tense! You must have a lot of things pent up.
Murk: Suppose you could say that. Murk: That's it, lower down. There! Right there!
Dania: You're really enjoying this far too much!
Murk: I can't help it! I keep getting itches I just can't rea- rrrrrrrrrYEAH! Dania: Is that your foot tapping on the ground!?
Murk: Can't .....rrrrrrrrr....... control it........... mmmmmmrrrrruuuuugh! Dania: That's so funny!
Murk: Don't stop now!
Dania: I'm so pleased I met you Murk. You do make me laugh!
Murk: Oh great, I'm your clown.
Dania: Yep, that's right!
Murk: Well, as long as I'm *your* clown, I suppose I can handle it.
*** Vadamar: Okay Yarry, this is what it all comes down to. It's 47 points to me, 46 to you. Catch this, and it's tie-break central. Drop it, and you'll be taunted and jeered until I lose my voice. You ready? Yarilo: Bring it, goat-boy!
Vadamar: Right, just for the hoofed-animal comparison, I'm putting extra spin on this.
Yarilo: You not know spin if it bite you on neck!
Vadamar: Ooh, don't tease me with flirty talk, Yarry. I won't be able to concentrate!
Yarilo: You talk big, but not have skills to back up! Give it me! Vadamar: Oh, I'll give it to you alright! Take that!
Yarilo: Nurgh!! Bain: Excuse me, I'm looking for a young woman called Atra. Have you seen her?
Vadamar: Dropped it! Ahahahahaha!! LOSER!
Yarilo: Nu, I distracted!
Vadamar: No excuses! Atra: Bain!? What are you doing here!?
Bain: Not quite the delighted response I was hoping for...
Atra: I'm sorry, I mean, it's wonderful to see you!
Bain: It's okay, it's a pleasure to see you again.
Atra: How did you find us?
Bain: Had to do a little research, but it was surprisingly easy. You and your friends are earning quite the reputation in Syever. Vlis: So... who's the curly guy?
Dania: Must be one of Atra's friends?
Murk: She met him in Vostok Village. They got on quite well apparently. Atra: So how have you been?
Bain: Busy! As I hear you've been too.
Atra: I think that's an understatement!
Bain: Well you seem to have collected quite a crowd of friends...
Atra: Oh, I'm so sorry, where are my manners?! Atra: Bain, these are my... cohorts. Grastion, Vlis, Dania, Murk, Yarilo and Vadamar. Everyone, this is Bain.
Bain: Very nice to meet you all. Although you'll have to forgive me if I don't manage to remember everyone's names. Bain: As much as I would love to get to know everyone, I'm afraid this is more of a business visit than a social one.
Atra: Oh? What's the problem?
Bain: No problem! I just have a proposal that I think would be in everyone's best interests. Would you be interested in hearing what I've got to say?
Atra: Of course. What is it?
Bain: Actually, this is more of a delicate matter. It might be better if we discuss this with a bit more... privacy.
Atra: I see. Not a problem. Atra: I'll be back in a little while. There's just something Bain and I need to discuss. Murk: Doesn't seem safe for to be going off into the woods like that...
Grastion: You try telling her otherwise. Believe me, it's not pretty.
Dania: I'm sure she'll be fine. He seemed like a nice man.
Vlis: So exactly what have they got to say that they can't discuss in front of us? On second thoughts, I just realised I don't actually care. Yarilo: So, who is Bain person? Atra like him...?
Vadamar: Not a clue. But if she doesn't want him, she can pass him my way. He was cute!
*** Atra: You sure it's definitely safe out here?
Bain: Don't worry, it's fine. I've got my colleagues patrolling the perimeter. They'll make sure no nasties get through. Oh, and I know one of your cohorts is a nosferatu, so don't worry, they won't attack him by mistake.
Atra: Nice to hear. Atra: So what's so important you have to talk to me out here? And don't get any ideas, either. You lay a finger on me, I'll snap it off.
Bain: Nothing so uncouth!
Atra: Let me guess, you reconsidered on joining me.
Bain: Sorry to disappoint you. Actually, it's to do with the tomes. My sources inform me you've found two of them.
Atra: How did you know that?
Bain: I've been looking a long time, Atra. I have my sources.
Atra: Jealous I'm beating you? Bain: Hah, not quite. You see, I found the other two.
Bain: Seems as though we really are well-matched, doesn't it? Now if your maths is as good as I'm sure it is, you must realise that between us, we have all four of the fabled tomes of Mordecai the Great. The only problem is that unless someone has all four, their power cannot be used. Herein lies my proposition, Atra. You give me your tomes.
Atra: And why exactly would I do that?!
Bain: Because you never really wanted them in the first place. You wanted the adventure, the achievement of finding them, the freedom of travelling up and down the country and meeting new people. But the tomes themselves? I don't think you ever really cared about them. Bain: I said the first time I saw you, you don't seem desperate. I stand by that. If you had all the tomes, what would you do with them?
Atra: I hadn't thought about it...
Bain: I have. I want to make the world a better place, Atra. How about you? Do you want that responsibility? If you had all four tomes, you would have to accept the duties that would come with such power. No more doing things your own way. No more freedom. Do you want that?
Atra: No... Atra: But I could give them to Lady Grey. As the ruler of Syever, she should keep them safe.
Bain: Keep them safe? Power corrupts, Atra. And what do you think absolute power would do to her? Don't get me wrong, Lady Grey is a fine woman. But after her husband's death, can you say for certain she is stable enough to wield such power?
Bain: I didn't think so.
Atra: And what about you? Bain: I'm not perfect. But I am prepared. I've devoted most of my life to finding the tomes, and for what to do once they've been found. I promise with my life, I would do what is right.
Atra: And what's that?
Bain: I would make the world a better place. There is so much that is wrong with it. So much pain, sadness and suffering. I want to get make a world safe for children to grow up in. You and I both lost our parents. That shouldn't happen!
Atra: And you think you could change that? Bain: I give you my word, Atra, I will not rest until I do.
*** Atra: Everyone, listen up. I've made a decision, and you should all know about it. Atra: I've decided to give the tomes to Bain. He has the final two already. I know this is sudden, but I think they would be better off in his hands. He knows what to do with them, much better than I do. I know this is the right thing to do... for everyone. Murk: Well, that's... quite a bombshell. You sure about this, Atra?
Murk: Then it's okay by me.
Dania: To be honest, I'll be happy to see the back of that book...
Grastion: So... hang on, I just have to get this straight before I start jumping for joy... Does this mean we can leave this Etain-forsaken country and go home?
Atra: I suppose so...
Grastion: ALLELUJAH!! Yarilo: Nu, Atra... You sure about this...? You want leave Syever?
Atra: It's not that I want to leave Syever. I just realised I never wanted the tomes in the first place. I mean, what was I going to do with them?
Yarilo: Oh... okay...
Atra: It's what I want.
Yarilo: Then... I happy. Vadamar: Yeah, well everybody else might be acting like the sun's shining out of your bum, but I ain't!
Vlis: Me neither! You can't do that! Vadamar: We need those tomes!
Vadamar: Me! I do! How can you just suddenly decide you're going to give them away?! How am I supposed to-......
Atra: To what?
Vadamar: Nothing! It doesn't even matter, not if you're going to be such a selfish brat! Vlis: And last time I checked, MY book isn't even yours to give away!
Atra: I thought you gave us the book in return for coming with us?
Vlis: Like it matters! Since when are you in charge?! You can't make decisions like that on your own!
Atra: I didn't realise this was a democracy.
Vlis: No, apparently it's a bloody dictatorship! And no prizes for guessing who's queen!
Atra: This is my decision, and I'm making it. So please get out of my way.
Vlis: Uh, you... you... Never mind, you're not even worth it. Vadamar: I don't believe she's actually handing them over... What am I supposed to do now?
Vlis: Well Vlis, you can kiss goodbye to learning any new witchcraft... Bain: What did your companions say?
Atra: A couple of them weren't too happy. But nothing I'll lose sleep over.
Bain: Are you sure about this? I don't want you to regret this.
Atra: I won't. I trust you to do the right thing. And you're by far the most normal person I've met in this country. Here, take them. And good luck. Bain: Thank you, Atra! Thank you so much! I've spent so long looking for these!
Atra: You'd better appreciate them. They weren't exactly easy to come by!
Bain: Oh I do, believe me, I do! Thank you! I vow to do my very best to keep my word. This is such good news. Do you mind if I call my colleagues to join us? I'm sure they'd be just as grateful!
Atra: Go ahead, by all means. Bain: *WHISTLE* Darkbringers!! Over here!! It's good news!! *WHISTLE*!! Garotte: Good news? Excellent! How much do you reckon these tomes are worth? Grastion: I know him.
Yarilo: He is thief from Zapad! Why he here?!
Grastion: Common cur... Bonelock: RRRRR... So when do I get to hunt something?! Murk: You!
Yarilo: Who this man?
Murk: Bonelock... We've met before. I hunt monsters. He hunts... people. Reev: How nice to see these faces again! I wonder what they look like crumpled up in pain? Dania: Him!
Vlis: Oh, you've got to be joking.
Dania: But... Why?! Dusk: So does this mean you can- What? You?! Vadamar: You!? You're one of... them? Bain: Atra, I'd like to introduce you to my companions. We go by the name of the Darkbringers, in honour of Syever's patron, Morena. I believe some of them may be familiar to you. Atra: Those... those are your... friends...?
Bain: Well, friends might be pushing it a bit far, but we're certainly a team, and we have common interests.
Atra: But... they're...
Bain: Some of them my be a little unorthodox, I grant that. But I am a strong believer that the end justifies the means.
Atra: But... you... you're normal... You tricked me!
Bain: Sorry? What do you mean? Atra: I thought you were a good person! You lied!
Bain: Atra... I've never lied to you. Everything I've said has been the truth.
Atra: Those people you're with! All this time, you were one of them! You're not who I thought you were. Now give me the tomes back!
Bain: Atra, please... I can't do that...
Atra: Give them back!
Bain: Please... Nothing's changed, just calm down, don't say anything rash...
Atra: If you don't give them back right NOW, I'm taking them!
Bain: I beg you, don't say that. Please, I know you might have worries but -
Atra: I'm taking them back! I don't care how long it takes, I won't rest until I do! Grastion: And we'll be with her!
Murk: You heard what the lady said!
Yarilo: You bad people! We not let you take tomes!
Dania: We're on Atra's side!
Vlis: As if I'm letting you put your filthy hands on MY book!
Vadamar: ~I'm sure we can work this out, can't we?~ Bain: Please... please reconsider, I beg you. Atra, say you'll just leave. Say you won't try and stop us, please! I'm begging you!
Atra: Never! You lied to me!
Bain: I never lied! I promise you!
Atra: I'll hunt you down to the ends of Omnia, I *will* get those tomes back.
Bain: ..........Then you leave me with no choice.... I'm so sorry, Atra, but this is too important.......
Reev: Do we have the green light?
Bain: I'm afraid so......... Darkbringers, we have a threat to the future of Syever. We have no choice but to erase the problem. I'm sorry, Atra... Atra: What?!
Bain: Darkbringers... ATTACK!
Atra: !! Everyone defend yourselves! Get the tomes back! Murk: Happy to! GRRRRRRR!! Take that! Bonelock: Ha ha ha! Is that supposed to hurt, pipsqueak? That tickles! Dania: Murk, get back! Here Big Boy, see how *this* feels! Bonelock: Ah! That sort of hurt... a bit... Hmm, someone's going to have to pay for that... Murk: DOOF!
Dania: Murk! Are you okay?!
Murk: *GASP* Win...ded... *GASP* Vadamar: Hi there, long time no see...
Garotte: Likewise... Vadamar: So, I've been thinking, maybe we could settle this in a non-violent way? Because I know we both enjoyed how our last little disagreement got fixed. ~Now why don't you put down that bow and-~ Garotte: Oh no, don't you think THAT'S going to work again! Here, how's this for fixing a disagreement?! Vadamar: AH! That nearly hit me!
Garotte: The next one'll do better than that! Vlis: Oh brilliant! They're gonna smash us to bits! This is how I'm going to die? Surrounded by acorns and squirrel poo? Vlis: I don't think so!
Murk: Where's... *uff*... she going?
Dania: She can't just leave us! Vlis! Grastion: You know, if there's one thing I can't stand, it's psychopaths masquerading as men of the cloth. You give even Morena's priests a bad name.
Reev: And what are you going to do about it, ACOLYTE? Grastion: Hmph. Let me teach you a little something about the power of Etain. Goddess of light, banish this shadow! Goddess of love, erase his hatred! Reev: Ah! Ooh, that stings! Reev: Unfortunately, that sort of power works far better against zombies. You might want to bear that in mind.
Grastion: What..? Why aren't you..?
Reev: In pain? I prefer to give than to recieve. Want a demonstration? Reev: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHH! Grastion: Uurgh! My... head...! Yarilo: You want fight?! You take on nosferatu! Hsssss!! Dusk: Ew. You can stay away from me with breath like that. You want to take your chances against me, be my guest. But you'd best be warned - I've got nothing to lose. What about you? Yarilo: Hssss! Yarilo: Uff!
Dusk: Dirty thing. I'd rather die than be a nosferatu. I swear, if we ever meet and I have a stake, you're not going to come off well.
Yarilo: ......... Vlis: Come on, come on, where is it...? Bain: Atra... I'm sorry it had to come to this... Atra: You can apologise after I kick your butt. Bring it on! Atra: Saxum descendo!
Bain: Electricus surgit! Atra: Aaaaaaaarrrrrgh!!! Bain: Ouch! Atra... I'm... uff!... really... ow!... sorry.... Vlis: I don't have time for this! This one? No! Where is it?! Vlis: A-ha! Got it! Brace yourselves, you scumbags! Vlis: Hey! TAKE THIS! Bain: What...? What happened? I can't see anything! Bonelock: Ah! My eyes!
Murk: She... blinded them... Vadamar: Everyone, quick! Leggit while they're distracted! Grastion: You don't need to ask twice!
Vlis: It won't last too long, so get a move on!
Dania: Come on, quick!
*** Atra: You... you think we're safe now...? Murk: Hopefully. It's been two hours. If they were going to find us, I'd imagine they would have done so by now. Just keep your eyes peeled and your ears open.
Grastion: What exactly was that spell?
Vlis: It wasn't a spell. Witches use hexes.
Grastion: Like a I care.
Vlis: Like I care you care.
Murk: Quiet you two. How long should that... hex... whatever... last exactly?
Vlis: Don't know. Maybe a few seconds, maybe a few hours.
Murk: Well in that case, we should be okay. Vadamar: Oh yeah, everything's just dandy!
Yarilo: Those people were bad. And now they have tomes...
Vadamar: What Yarry's trying to say is, we're now officially up the bloody creek!
Yarilo: Da, pravda.
Vadamar: Hmm... and who's fault is all this again, Princess? Dania: We shouldn't argue! At a time like this, we need to stick together.
Vadamar: Easier said than done, Moonbeam. Where was 'sticking together' when me and Vlis told her NOT to hand those tomes over?!
Dania: Vadamar... please... Atra: He's right.... I shouldn't have handed them over... He was just so convincing. I really thought it was the right thing to do... I'm sorry...
Vlis: Well 'sorry' isn't going to cover it. There might be more of us, but we were well and truly whupped back there.
Atra: If it hadn't been for Vlis, I dread to think what would have happened...
Vlis: You all would have been dead. Simple. And don't count on me saving your butts again like that. All my hexes and potions are back there. You know how long it took me to brew that stash? Rat's tongues don't come cheap you know.
Atra: This is awful... Murk: Well we can't just sit here forever. They've got to be stopped!
Grastion: And what do you suppose we do?
Murk: .... We'll think of something.
Grastion: As much as it pains me to say, I think I know what we need to do now. We need to see Lady Grey.
Murk: Oh yeah, right, because anyone can pop in and have tea with the head of Syever.
Grastion: The head of the Rosarian royal family can, can't they Atra? Atra: .............
Dania: Atra..... what does Grastion mean?
Atra: I didn't mean to decieve anybody, it was just.... Easier to get around. And easier to forget.
Atra: I'm.... I mean, my name is.... Uh, I didn't think it would be so hard to say....
Vadamar: For Morena's sake, spit it out!
Atra: I'm the Princess of Roser. Dania: You... You're a princess!? A real one?!
Yarilo: You not really Atra?
Atra: No, I mean, yes, I mean- My name is Atra. That's the name my friends and family call me. But, most people now me by my official name. Portia.
Yarilo: Princess Portia!
Vadamar: So... let me get this straight... Princess is really a princess!? But you're such a cow! Murk: *You* are Princess Portia? As in, the rightful heir to the Rosarian crown? As in, pretty much the most powerful woman in Omnia? That's *you*?
Atra: I'm not lying! Grastion: I can vouch for that. She's telling the truth. And speaking as a Rosarian subject myself, let me say she's not exactly the best prospect for a Queen I've ever seen.
Vlis: I'm not surprised. Explains why you're so spoilt. So this changes things, right?
Grastion: Not by much. But I'd say it's fairly important we go and see Lady Grey. I'm sure she'll be interested to hear how much we messed up. Atra: We've got no choice, have we...?
Grastion: Afraid not. And I don't think she's going to be happy with the news...
*** Lady Grey: You... you... you... Lady Grey: YOU DID WHAT?! Atra: We're sorry, really! We didn't know!
Lady Grey: You gave two tomes to the Darkbringers?!
Grastion: And now they have all four.
Lady Grey: I'm quite aware of that, thank you!
Atra: We didn't realise... We thought he was a good person. Lady Grey: And you believed him, naturally!
Atra: I was going to give them to you, but...
Lady Grey: Let me guess, he used my husband's death as a reason not to.
Atra: How did you know?
Lady Grey: Of course he did! Do you know how many times people in this country have said I should step down, take a break, that I can't handle the pressure? But I do, because I don't have a choice!
Atra: We're sorry...
Lady Grey: And what's all this 'we' business? You are going to be Queen - like it or not! - and when you are, you had better learn sharpish that when you're at the top of the chain, there is no 'we'. You take the blame for all mistakes, your own and everyone else's. The sooner you learn that, the better! I'm sorry, Atra, but if I'm less than happy, it's because this is so very, very serious. Vlis: It wasn't actually *everyone's* fault.
Vadamar: Yeah, *some* of us tried telling her it was a stupid idea.
Lady Grey: Oh, how honourable. And I bet neither of you tried to stop her for selfish reasons at all.
Vlis and Vadamar: .........
Lady Grey: Thought not. Lady Grey: Honestly Atra, why did you even want to find those tomes in the first place?
Atra: I didn't... I just... It was an adventure. I've never really had one before.
Lady Grey: I never expected you to actually find them... Maybe I underestimated you? No, on second thoughts, I overestimated you.
Atra: What's going to happen?
Lady Grey: I can't imagine... But it's not going to be good. I'm aware of the Darkbringers. Most of them petty criminals, but the leader... he's a different matter.
Lady Grey: An absolute fundamentalist. He apparently had a tragic past, but that's no excuse for his beliefs. He speaks with such conviction... But to hear the words themselves is... frightening. Now that he has the tomes, he's going to put his plans into motion. And I fear every man, woman and child in Syever - in Omnia - is going to pay. Murk: Well we have to stop him! I'm not just sitting around and waiting for that Bain bloke to do what he wants.
Dania: Murk's right, there's got to be something we can do to help. Lady Grey: There may well be. The tomes are notoriously complicated. Anyone can understand the basics, but to gain their true power would take some time. We have to do everything we can to stop him getting that power... I'll contact every lord and noble in the country. Usually the most selfish lot of men I've ever come across, but if anyone threatens their power, they'll rally like you've never seen.
Atra: What about us?
Lady Grey: You owe all of us. You'll all need to do your part, too. Vlis: We can't just fight them. We'd be demolished.
Lady Grey: No, you're right. To face them head-on would be foolish.
Yarilo: So what we do? Must do something!
Lady Grey: Under normal circumstances, I'd tell you to contact the Sisters. However, seeing as Obscura did such a poor job representing her goddess, Morena is currently without an oracle.
Vlis: So we're stuffed?
Lady Grey: Not quite... If you need to get through to Morena - and believe me, she's your best chance right now - there is another way...
Yarilo: What we do?
Lady Grey: The Saints. Lady Grey: The Saints are your best bet. Not as direct as one of the Sisters, but we don't have that luxury. Contact the Saints of Syever. They should be of some help at least.
Atra: The Saints?
Lady Grey: Are you familiar with the seven Saints of Syever?
Atra: ....No. I mean, I know about the Saints of Roser, but... I don't know much about those from Syever.
Lady Grey: I'm sure your companions will be able to fill you in. Visit all of them: Saint Almos the Sleepbringer; Saint Bash Chelik the Vengeful; Saint Lauma the Unfettered; Saint Bozalotsch the Judge; Saint Ileana the Nightwatcher; Saint Porewit the Martyr; and Saint Iovan the Mad. Speak to them, and maybe Morena will hear our prayers. Atra: We'll do whatever it takes to make it right. I mean... I will.
Lady Grey: That's good to hear. But be warned, speaking to the Saints face-to-face will not be easy. Just be prepared. You should start with Saint Bozalotsch. Her tomb is isn't far from Yug, just down the coast.
Atra: Okay. Thank you for the advice, Lady Grey. Lady Grey: Good luck to all of you, you'll certainly need it. And don't fail us.
*** Atra: Saint Bozalotsch's tomb... Doesn't look so big...
Vlis: Bet it's bigger on the inside. Atra: So, what have we got to do?
Dania: Find Saint Bozalotsch, Lady Grey said. Maybe we knock? Female Voice: Who goes there?
Atra: Um, it's us.... I mean, we'd like to talk to Saint Bozalotsch, please.
Female Voice: ....I'm quite busy. Now go away.
Vadamar: Bozalotsch sounds hot!
Yarilo: We not go! Need talk, is very important!
Bozalotsch: ....Very well then. If you can make it through my tomb, I'll give you my time. But I strongly advise you to go home.
Murk: No chance of that. Let's get this done.
Bozalotsch: *sigh* This is what I get every year... Fine, you want to die, be my guests. But just bear this in mind. Bozalotsch: Greed needs nothing, greed wants all,
Greed denies all others.
Selfish misers, skinflints, churls,
Men who would sell their own mothers. Bozalotsch: Greed is a screaming child,
Forever demanding more.
Greed is a gold-clad guildsman,
Hoarding from the poor. Bozalotsch: Greed is a grasping hand,
Wearing a diamond ring.
In a famine-wracked starving land,
Greed is a feasting king. Bozalotsch: Greed, avidity, the need for more
Than what is one's fair share.
Wealth, food, money or power:
The avaricious do not even care.
MediEvil 2 Episode 7: Bushwhacked
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