Yard & Garden / Stories / Legacy 14, Part the First: Huge Yard Decorations
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Pretend you're a knight. And you're riding around doing your knightly job, saving a damsel in distress that's being held in thrall by an evil witch.

Next thing you know your body is made into a huge piece of yard decoration and your soul is....elsewhere. What would you do?

Pretend you're a knight. And you're riding around doing your knightly job, saving a damsel in distress that's being held in thrall by an evil witch.

Next thing you know your body is made into a huge piece of yard decoration and your soul is....elsewhere. What would you do? "I feel pretty." "Oh so pretty." "I feel pretty and witty and bright." "And I pity any girl who isn't me tonight." "Claudia, you know I love you, but for the love of burnt chili stop with the showtunes." Hello Mr. Clowny Box Thing. You're shiny. I'm a frog! Shiny frog, hee hee. Ribbit! "Come on Ellie, time to go to bed."

"Big nose go honk honk ribbit shiny clown!"

"Uh-huh." "Yea, the Son of Big Nose, the Spare, and the Mistaken Shiny Frog will come upon the land in the year of the goat." "What kind of trash are you reading, Llane?" "And they will come bearing a Scary Death Thing and they will save the people from the Witch of Huge Yard Decorations."

 If only someone really could save him. Tired frog wanna go sleep! In a big frog bed. "Are you really sure your teacher said that she would come here and feed me to my own cowplant if you turned in a paper about the Weiner War?" "Mm-hmm. Said she'd put you in the cage and throw lots of weiners at you first, though." "So you kept that old clowny thing when you got to redecorate the nursery?" "Yeah, it's sort of yellow and shiny and I like it." "It used to talk. At least we think it talked. I wonder...let's try it now." "This is kind of freaky, isn't it? I mean, I remember being it nice and all, but still...a talking toy? I think Grandpa made 'special' grilled cheese sandwiches." "Hello again, young sir! My, you've grown a lot. And you've got another sister! I do believe I remember hearing something about a shiny ribbeting clown box or something or other while I was asleep." "Umm...hehe. You do talk. Oh dear. This is a bit awkward. Umm, sorry for forgetting about you for a while there. Can you breathe in there? Are you okay?" "I don't breathe. Thank you for your concern, though. Did you ever find out anything about the land of Crynwell?" "Sorry, sir, I had forgotten."

"That's quite all right. I shall take a nap now, but please do remember to come talk to me again soon. I will think of a plan to get us there."

"Wow, check it out, a talking shiny clown ribbety thing!"

"Ah ha yes, nice to meet you. 'Mistakey', is it? See you soon!" "Gwendolyn, what did you do with that knight who was mooning around after that stupid blonde girl last millenium? I hate stupid blonde girls. And knights. With their white horses and plumes and things. Sigh. So cliched." "Yeah Mom, whatever did happen to that guy?" "Come. I will show you." "Geez, Mom, you could fit forty billion subjugated peasants in that thing. So you turned him into a huge yard decoration?" "Yes, haha, I did! And then, hee hee, oh man, this is the funny part, ha, then I put his soul somewhere else! Somewhere no one will ever find it! Oh, isn't that the best joke you've ever heard?" "I love you, Mr. Snookie." But there comes a time to put away childish things. Unless, like some people, you want to kill people and then have a satellite fall on you. "Luc, two of our kids are teens now!" "Didn't we just graduate from college yesterday?" "I don't wanna get old, Luc! I don't wanna!" "Yes, the cold and lonely spectre of old age is coming closer and closer every day." "Let's do the Happy Dance of Happiness to keep it away!" "Happy Dance of Happiness?!" "Why, I feel younger already!" "I believe I can fly!" "I believe I can touch the sky!" "Umm, Luc, I believe my wings broke." "So you guys want to talk to the talking clowny thing?" "Sure! I wanna crank it this time!" "Cranky cranky cranky yay!" "Hello Mistakey! And Sean and Christy! Nice to see you all again so soon." "My name is Ellie. I'm not a mistake."

"Yes, yes, I'm sorry. No harm meant, I'm sure." "So have you thought of a way to get to Crynwell yet, Mr. Talky Clowny Thing?" "Actually, yes, I have. You live in a town named Pleasantview, correct? I have an old friend here. We shall go and visit her and she will take us there." "We must hurry now. Soon it will be exactly a thousand years since I was put in this box, and then I shall be stuck here forever. Just put me in your backpack, which I happen to know is the size of infinity, and I shall give you directions." "Well....you guys ready to go? Sean, you got him in your backpack?"

"Sure thing, Mistakey. Let's go."

"The name's Ellie." "Hey, I've heard of this place! The kids at school say it's haunted." "Umm, guys?" "I think it is haunted!" "What do you mean, Christy?" "I saw a woman at the window just now! She didn't have any nostrils and her eyes were huge and I don't think she's alive and I'm scared!" "It's okay, calm down, we'll ask Mr. Talky Clown Thing." "Thank you Sean. I'm so glad you brought me here. I haven't seen Rani in years. She owes me a few favors, and she'll help us out right enough." "Say, Mr. Talky Clowny Thing, does this friend have any nostrils?" "No, she doesn't. I did fail her, once. But she knows I'm here now since you turned my crank and played the song. She'll be along in a second." "Who dare plays Pop Goes the Weasel in my yard?" "Wow!" "Hi, Scary No Nostril Lady!" "Was it you who played that song? That terrible horrible song?" "Yes ma'am. Sorry ma'am. It's just that's the only way we have to talk to Mr. Talky Clowny Thing, who told us to come here."

"Mr. Talky Clowny Thing?!" "Why, I oughta....I had nostrils once, you know. And then he left me there. He left me there to be turned into a no nostril freak! "What's Scary No Nostril Lady doing, Christy?" "Ooh, I'm going to get him. I'm going to make him wish he'd never been put in that box. He's going to have weasels popping all over the place when I'm done with him." "She's having an angry monologue." "You mean like....my name is Ellie, not Mistakey, razzle frazzle stupid siblings, I'll get them one day, mom and dad wanted me, I'll get a radioactive frog and he'll swallow them with his big huge tongue and then I'll inherit and no one will call me Mistakey anymore?" "Yeah, like that."

And so the first part of our story ends.

Will Scary No Nostril Lady help our heir, spare, and mistake find the legendary land of Crynwell? What sort of adventures await them if and when they get there? Tune in next time to find out.

Legacy 14, Part the First: Huge Yard Decorations

Dec 21, 2006 by sleebarker
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    21 Comment(s) posted so far

    On Dec 21, 2006 Linasmultrollet wrote:

    When does that scary light come?
    Great story! Keep it up!\:D \:rah\:

    On Dec 21, 2006 MoriaG wrote:

    love the light blast thing, ummmm and love the costumes.

    On Dec 21, 2006 slime wrote:

    thats a great chapter ima read the next part of it now 5 points \:rah\: \:rah\: \:rah\:

    On Dec 22, 2006 greeksim wrote:

    Great story!\:rah\:

    On Dec 22, 2006 kessoccerstar wrote:

    good story!\:D

    On Dec 22, 2006 wrote:

    OMG! The nostril lady is freaky~\:wacko\: I'm about to read part 2! Lata!\:D

    On Dec 22, 2006 TabbyDragon wrote:

    Your stories are always so hilarious! Off to read the next part now! \:D

    On Dec 22, 2006 Wigwog wrote:

    Intresting................................................................................*This is not making the next part come is it?*.......................\:cool\: COOL\:cool\: i WANT TO SEE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    On Dec 22, 2006 Pete789 wrote:

    cool story \:cool\:

    On Dec 22, 2006 wrote:

    Great part! \;\)

    On Dec 22, 2006 manuela55 wrote:

    \:D

    On Dec 22, 2006 Lord_Cyrus wrote:

    lol another good Legacy chapter on to read the next part!

    On Dec 23, 2006 GoddessofWar1022 wrote:

    Great as always! \:rah\:

    On Dec 23, 2006 Kismyname wrote:

    Great story! Off to read the next part! \:D

    On Dec 25, 2006 wrote:

    The woman with no nostrils looks kind of like a Disney character. I don't think they have nostrils either. Anyway, good chaper. I'm going to read the next! \:\)

    On Dec 26, 2006 jeldric wrote:

    I love all those dresses, and the faces of the characters!

    On Dec 28, 2006 wrote:

    Love it!! Great Job!!

    On Dec 29, 2006 okadoka wrote:

    Great Job \:\)

    On Jan 26, 2007 msxn4me39 wrote:

    Great imagination! Love the story\:rah\: \:rah\: \:rah\: \:wub\: \:rah\: \:rah\:

    On Feb 9, 2007 civetinja wrote:

    Good story ! Thanks !\:\)

    On Jun 25, 2007 Olga2102 wrote:

    It was very nice to read this story!\:rah\: \:rah\:

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