I have a story in mind.

My story consists of 2 girls that grow up together, their mothers are best friends. One is a very out and proud lesbian and the other is straight, a huge flirt with the boys. When they become teenagers, the Out one (I'll say for now) forms a crush on the other, after seeing her develop and suddenly she's looking more mature. She admits her feelings to the girl and soon they are distant but the other finds that she is also curious with her feelings for the girl. So she goes for it, leaving all the boys practically begging at their knees for her attention behind. They grow into adults and move into a huge house, after the Other girl inherits all of her mother's money after her death.... I'm dragging on, forgive me.

I'll try and get to the point. I don't have names chosen for the girls yet, or even what they look like. I want the one that's a lesbian to look feminine with a little edge, tattoos/piercings, all that. And the other girl to look very girly and stylish. For now, in the blog I will call the lesbian Lesa and the straight one Sia, so I don't confuse you. This is all very bundled up and confusing right now because the story is going to be missing important pieces that I left out on purpose. Keep in mind...these are just my ideas for the story...

So, continuing on...

The girls are madly in love. Lesa loves the upper class, modern life with all the parties and being a social butterfly. Sia wants to focus on school and going to work, making sure her life is in order before she even thinks about partying. Well, years pass and they are happy as ever...or so they think. Lesa decides she wants to buy a bigger house with more cars, while Sia insists on staying where they are now. She tells Lesa one day, "Darling, I want a family." Lesa laughs and replies, "Oh, dear. We are a family!" Completely ignoring the sadness in Sia's eyes, she runs off to another party. Sia sits at home and ponders to herself...is this really what she wants for the rest of her life? Just constant parties and people in and out of their lives? It's fun but she wants to settle down. She yearns for a child to bear as her own and to come home to a spouse with open arms. You know, the typical dream of any family-oriented person.

One day, Lesa is preparing for a party at their house. Sia approaches her and insists that they discuss the conversation further. It's very important to her. Lesa sighs and agrees to talking about it. What a relief, Sia thinks to herself. She hopes Lesa takes this as serious as she does. She tells her how she wants the white picket fence, the boy and the girl children, the typical "soccer mom" persona...all of it. She wants a family. She doesn't want the cars and the parties. She wants something serious, something for their future. Sia hopes Lesa takes her serious but instead Lesa just laughs it off like it's just another one of Sia's silly fantasies. Sia cries herself to sleep that night...Thinking to herself Is this really going to last?

Sia just sucks it up and continues living Lesa's life...as she refers to it now. She dresses up for the party for the night and Lesa is nothing but smiles because she just loves the idea of a good party. While Lesa is out shopping, she meets a man named Michael. He introduces himself politely and tells her that he just moved into town from the city and is trying to start a business there. She thinks oh what a wonderful oppurtunity to have him meet new people, so she invites him to her party that night. He accepts the invitation and is glad to meet someone so willing to help him out in the social scene in town.

Sia stares in the mirror...practically beating herself up for even thinking such a stupid thing in the first place. I mean, look at Lesa's lifestyle. She's a party animal. Of course she doesn't want to just end it all...not even for her... It's so sad.

She hears the music starting and walks downstairs to join the party, although she is choking up and it's hard to hold back her tears. Lesa has no idea how much it really is hurting her...she's too busy socializing and drinking with her friends...er...acquaintances.

Sia tries to fit in to the scene but she just can't get her mind off how this is just not the life she wants. She decides she needs a drink and approaches the bar, where an unfamiliar man is sitting. He looks uncomfortable, out of place. She makes small talk as she orders her drink and introduces herself as Lesa's girlfriend. His name's Michael, it's the one Lesa met at the store earlier that day. He told her how she invited him over and Sia's reaction was not surprised at all by that, she was used to her doing that sort of thing. She jokes and says how Lesa puts a little too much trust into people and will allow almost anyone into their home as long as they bring the booze. He laughs with her, but trying to maintain his manners since he is a guest and he barely knows her.

Lesa announces that everyone will be moving down to the beach area, where there's a fire and music and the moonlight. It's not far...it's practically their backyard. Michael offers to help carry some things with Sia, noticing that she's fumbling the cases of beer and containers of alcohol. Of course she needs it so she says yes. As they're walking down, Sia watches Michael...almost in a slow-motion like way. Everything just suddenly...stops.

His hair is almost blue when it's hit by the moonlight, his lips are so pink you would think he was wearing makeup, his smile is so sincere, his eyes are so dark they're practically black, and his hands... Oh, Sia had a thing for nice hands. She found herself...being attracted to this man. As she moved her eyes up his arms, she notices tattoos... Looking at his face again, she realizes that he also has a neck tattoo. She wondered where else he had a tattoo...Perhaps he was covered in them...I wonder if every tattoo means something to him...Do they have a story? Sia finds herself daydreaming about him.

Her thoughts are suddenly interrupted by Michael asking if she was alright.

"Oh, I'm fine, sorry. Just in a little daze." She smiles sweetly, trying to distract herself by adjusting the cases of beer to look busy.

They make their way down to where everyone is sitting and Sia finds a spot close to Michael. She tries to get Lesa's attention when she walks by her but Lesa is just too into the conversation she is having with 3 other girls, and practically ignores her. Michael notices and tries to make Sia feel better by talking to her.

(Well, there I go again...rambling on and on. I do that sometimes.)

Michael and Sia find themselves falling for each other and Sia finds out that Michael wants just the same thing she does. She's stuck between being with the woman she fell in love with and a man she's just met...who wants everything she wants in the future. So does she stay in the now or go forward? It's a hard decision to make but she ends up having a secret relationship with Michael. Sia soon builds guilt and wants to admit what she is doing behind Lesa's back...She stills goes home to Lesa every night. Lesa just assumes they are best friends and have become really close, never thinking that Sia used to be quite the flirt and many men would love the chance to be with her if they had one. Lesa's just busy all the time with going out and being with her friends, she doesn't even notice that Sia isn't home...sometimes coming home so late in the night. She's just happy that she is getting out there, like she is.

Michael is sick of hiding the relationship and wants Sia to make a decision. Wanting her to leave Lesa, move in with him, and start a life they both want. Oh but Sia loves Lesa...even if she doesn't want that life. Lesa treats her well...But come to think of it, she does ignore her at times...and Sia is left feeling alone. Sia reveals her cheating behavior to Lesa and Lesa is torn...totally broken hearted. How could she do such a thing?! Lesa gave her life up for this girl...She had so many girls come at her and she refused to do anything...No...this can't be happening...

Lesa begs Sia to stay... "Baby, please, stay with me. I can give you the life you want. I can give you the white picket fence, the boy and the girl...All the kids you want, all the soccer games...it doesn't matter! I can stop the partying. We can move into any house you like. Please don't leave me, I love you with all my heart."

Sia tells her "No, you can't. But a man can. A man can give me the children I desire. A man can make me feel safe in a home... I'm sorry, Lesa. I am so sorry, but this is what I want. And I just can't have that life with you."

Sia was waiting so long to hear those words...but it was too late. She already made her decision and she's already packed half of her things... She is moving in with Michael.


There is so much more to the story, but for now, I will keep it at that. This story has a message in it but I don't want to give away too much... It's very heartbreaking. But the question is...will Sia truly be happy with the life she dreamed of or will she regret everything and want to be back with Lesa, living the life of parties? Would Lesa really change if she came back? Would Lesa even want her back after leaving?

More later. I look forward to sharing this. :)

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