Ghostly vision. 1
Published Nov 18, 2009

Written By



Page 1 / 39

It has taken me a long time to make this story and it has been tough to write at times and I have wanted to give up on several ocashions but I didn't. There is a lot of dialogue to the story so I hope this won't put you off reading it and I hope you enjoy it, everything in this part of the story was made by me, there are three parts to this story and I will be submitting these over the next few weeks, anyway enough talking, I give you Ghostly Vision. Enjoy!

It has taken me a long time to make this story and it has been tough to write at times and I have wanted to give up on several ocashions but I didn't. There is a lot of dialogue to the story so I hope this won't put you off reading it and I hope you enjoy it, everything in this part of the story was made by me, there are three parts to this story and I will be submitting these over the next few weeks, anyway enough talking, I give you Ghostly Vision. Enjoy! As Dawn drove to her new home memories of the day her life had changed forever came flooding back, she'd finished early one day from work and because it was such a nice day she'd decided to go for a walk in the park near where she works, the birds were singing and the air smelt of freshly cut grass. As she walked down the path that would take her to the center of the park, she'd seen two people sitting on a bench kissing, she'd smiled to herself as she walked closer to them thinking about her husband Ray, their life together was good, 15 years together and they were still very much in love. The guy had his back to her so she couldn't see what he looked like, but the girl was young and very pretty, it wasn't until she got closer to the bench she realized who the guy was, it was her husband Ray! Her happiness turned to horror as she'd stood there looking at the two of them, the girl looked in her direction because Dawn was now staring at them. Ray had turned around and looked in the direction the girl he had been kissing was now looking, when he'd seen who it was he'd got up and said "Dawn it's over, I want a divorce," just like that, Dawn didn't say anything she'd just stood there in disbelief with her mouth open, then she'd gasped and turned and ran as fast as she could all the way home with tears streaming down her face, when he'd finally got home Dawn had packed his things and told him to get out. Just before he'd walked out the door Ray had confessed to having an affair with the young girl for 2 years he'd also told her she was having his baby as if it was no big deal, Dawn was hurt and shocked by the news because they'd tried for five years to have a baby but it had never happened. She'd filed for a divorce the next day, when the divorce came through she'd learned that she wasn't entitled to live in their house anymore as she'd only paid the bills and had not paid anything towards the mortgage while they were married, so the house belonged to Ray and she'd only get a few belongings and a small amount of money from their divorce, Ray wanted the house quickly so had only given Dawn a month to move out, she'd looked frantically for a place to live, she couldn't aford a mortgage on her own so she'd looked at rented places. She'd eventually found a place to rent, it would be with a guy in his three bedroomed house in the center of Riverview town, now she was on her way to a totally different life. If anyone had said she would be living alone in a years time she wouldn't have believed them. As she got closer to Riverview town center where the house was the more nervous she became, her hands felt sweaty as she put her indicator on as the road that would take her to the town center came into view. Ten minutes later she had arrived, she parked her car and pulled the car door handle to open the door realizing her hands were now shaking, she hadn't realized she was that nervous as she closed the car door and stood looking at the house, she took a deep breath and then let it out, there's no turning back now thought Dawn as she started to walk up the path towards the front door. When she got to the front door her heart was hammering against her chest as she rang the door bell, a few moments later Simon James, the guy she was renting the room from answered the door, she hadn't met him before, he was out the day she'd looked at the room, a woman from the rental agency had shown her round. "You must be Dawn," said Simon. "Yes I am" said Dawn, "Please come in," Simon stepped aside to let her inside. When Dawn was inside, Simon shut the door and asked "will you need any help with your things". "No...I only brought a few boxes with me I've put my furniture in storage, so it won't take me long to unpack....err where is the room?" asked Dawn nervously she hadn't taken much notice as to where the room was the day she'd viewed the room. Simon smiled and said "Go up the stairs it's the first door on the left". "Thanks" said Dawn with a nervous smile as she headed in the direction of the room. The room was smaller than Dawn remembered, but it had everything she needed so she couldn't complain, it was the cheapest room she could find at short notice, she would be paying $200.00 a month and it was a month to month contract that included the bills, at any time Simon could kick her out, she wasn't happy with the arrangement but what choice did she have, most of the rooms she looked at wanted at least $350.00 plus bills, she got $274.00 a month so it wouldn't leave her much money to play with but it was a start. The room was nice it had a happy feel to it, ok it was a boys room but Dawn didn't care, from what the estate agent had told her it was Simons' sons room, he had moved out with his now wife, Simon's wife had left him so he'd needed some extra money and had decided to rent the room out. An hour later Dawn had put her things away Simon had gone out, it had been a very stressful day and Dawn suddenly felt really tired, she couldn't keep her eyes open so she lay on the bed and closed her eyes. The next thing she knew it was dark, she must have fallen asleep. Dawn turned on the light wondering where she was, the light hurt her eyes so she lay there waiting for her eyes to adjust to the light, when her eyes had adjusted she looked at the clock it was 12:02, she looked round the room and remembered where she was, she wiped her eyes feeling exhausted. Dawn sat up feeling a little dizzy as she did so. The room had a strange scent to it that she had never before encountered and that she would be hard pressed to describe even if she wanted to, there was a chill in the air too but Dawn thought it might be because she was tired so she changed into her night dress. And got into bed, turned the light off and was instantly asleep again. Later in the night she woke to a strange noise in her room, she was lying on her back looking at the ceiling as she rubbed her eyes, the room suddenly felt unhappy and cold. She wanted to cry but she couldn't understand why, a cold draft rose past her nose with the same scent she smelled earlier, Dawn looked up at the window but the window wasn't open so where was the draft coming from thought Dawn as she shivered and sat up. She looked in the direction of the bottom of the bed as she sat up and standing there was what looked like a boy but there was something different about him, she realized in an instent he wasn't a boy at all but a ghost, she felt her blood turn to icy sludge pumped by a heart as cold as the meat in the freezer downstairs, "Mummy?" he said in what sounded like a ghostly whisper but the sound seamed to arise in her head, so it didn't sound like a real sound at all, it sent shivers down her already cold spine making her shiver again. Dawn was so scared she turned on the light hoping the light would make what ever it was go away but it stood there staring at her, it's eyes looking like they were shining, which terrified her. She swallowed and tried to say "What do you want?" but her throat was so dry the words didn't come out right, she pulled the covers over herself, "Mummy" it said, barely a whisper as if it knew what she was asking. Dawn jumped out of bed ready to run all the while the ghost child turned and watched her, "Go away," said Dawn in a terrified gasp as the ghost boy stared at her she wondered if she ran would it follow her. Dawn suddenly felt faint she held on to the nightstand to steady herself as she did so the ghost vanished before her eyes taking the smell and the unhappy feeling with it, Dawn felt relief as she wondered if it had been a terrifying nightmare or had it really happened. Dawn got back into bed she lay on her back again feeling chilled to the bone as she pulled the covers over herself, her arms and legs full of goose bumps, she wanted to leave the house but where would she go, she rubbed her arms frantically under the blankets trying to get warm and trying to calm down at the same time, she lay there with the light on waiting for the light of the day, as she lay there she tried to think of happy times of Ray, anything to take her mind off what had happened and wait for the morning. Daylight filled the room and the birds were singing as Dawn opened her eyes not realizing some how she'd fallen asleep, she was still lying on her back, she felt exhausted as if she hadn't slept at all, she could smell coffee, Simon must be up thought Dawn as she got up and put her night gown on, strong black coffee was just what she needed. She went down the stairs and paused for a few seconds as she watched Simon making breakfast, she wasn't sure if he was making it for himself or her as well, it smelt good thought Dawn as she carried on down the stairs, she was starving as she realized she hadn't eaten since yesterday lunch time. Dawn got some coffee from the coffee machine and sat down, "Hi...did you sleep well," asked Simon, Dawn said nothing about what had happened last night and she said "yes, thank you." "Good...I've made us some breakfast..french toast ok with you," asked Simon as he held out a plate of toast, "Yes that's fine thank you," said Dawn with a smile. Three weeks had passed and no ghost, so Dawn had nearly forgotten about it, she wondered if it had all been in her imagination or maybe stress from moving and her divorce, as she got ready for work thoughts of work filling her head as there had been a lot of talk about redundancies over the last few days, Dawn was worried she might lose her job, she'd worked at the company for 10 years and knew it inside out she really loved her job, she thought of Ray as she put the toothbrush up to her mouth, she didn't want to think about him but she couldn't help it, She looked at her reflection in the mirror as she started to brush her teeth, what man in his right mind would go out with her she'd put on 2 stone since Ray had left and she felt very unattractive. She turned the tap on and put the toothbrush under the water to rinse it as she did so something caught her eye in the mirror, she looked up at her reflection in the mirror her eyes widened as she saw behind her the same ghostly figure she'd seen in her bedroom, Dawn froze as it appeared to be looking right at her, the hairs on the back of her neck stood up as a shiver ran down her spine she broke out into a cold sweet as the tooth brush slipped from her now icy fingers making a loud clattering sound as it fell into the sink, the tap was still running but Dawn didn't hear it as her heart hammered loudly in her chest. She shuddered and turned away from the mirror with a gasp looking behind her but it was gone, what the hell's going on thought Dawn. Dawn turned back to the mirror and looked in the direction of where the ghostly figure had stood, Dawn let out her breath not realizing she had been holding it, she tried to clear the image from her mind and pretend it never happened but it had left her feeling jumpy and scared, last time she'd thought she'd been dreaming but she knew this time she was wide awake, she turned and ran from the room leaving the tap running as she wanted to get out of the room as quickly as possible, she ran into her bedroom and slammed the door behind her. Later at work.
Thankfully the morning had been busy so Dawn hadn't had time to think about anything, although she'd had flash backs which had quickly disappeared with the constant rumours going around that the company was sacking people, after lunch Dawn sat at her computer and was about to turn it on when she saw Kathy walking towards the door, Dawn could see she was upset, "are you alright?" asked Dawn looking up, "No....they just sacked me!" said Kathy as she ran the rest of the way out the door, "What!" said Dawn in surprised, but Kathy had already gone, so the rumours were true poor Kathy thought Dawn, she hoped she wasn't next as she turned on her computer the last thing she needed right now was to lose her job too.
Twenty minutes later she noticed Mike walking out the door, he was leaving earlier than he normally did he always said goodbye as he left but today he said nothing, Dawn wondered if he had been sacked too. Half an hour after Mike had left, her boss came down to reception, "Dawn could you come up to my office please," said her boss, oh no this was it, her boss never came down unless it was for something really important, I'm next on on the list thought Dawn as she shut down her computer with shaking fingers and headed upstairs to her boss's office. When Dawn got to her bosses office the door was open and her boss was sitting at her computer, Dawn walked into the office and closed the door she sat down and waited for her boss to tell her she was no longer employed with the company. Dawn cleared her throat, she was feeling very uncomfortable. Her boss looked up and said "Dawn don't look so scared I'm not firing you, the company have decided to move you". Dawn was puzzled as she asked "move me?". "Yes! another building...we're opening a new branch and we feel you're the right person to run the place...I know it's a bit short notice but as you probably know by now there has been a lot going on today...the new office is in Sunset Valley....we will give you a pay rise of course," her boss saw the look on Dawns face "....look...go next door and have a coffee and think about it and I'll see you back here in" she looked at her watch "say...half an hour ok?." Dawn walked out the office with all sorts of thoughts going through her mind, the office was next to a library which had tables next to a river Dawn stood there not looking at anything in particular deep in thought, a gentle breeze touched her skin and brushed her hair slightly, the birds were singing and the noise of the river was normally calming but today Dawn didn't notice any of it as she was deep in her own thoughts, this is the big break I need, I could buy my own house away from Riverview she wouldn't have to worry about bumping into Ray and his girlfriend, she could start a new life..., Dawn could feel excitement bubbling up inside, her month contract was nearly up she only had a week to go, living with Simon was turning out to be a bit of a pain anyway, he left his Laundry lying about and dirty dishes in the sink she wasn't surprised he was divorced. Half an hour later Dawn was back in her boss's office,"Well have you decided if you're going to take the job?", "Yes...I'll take it!", "That's great!..I knew you would" smiled her boss. One hour later.
Dawn was walking out of the office, her boss had given her a lot to think about and the rest of the afternoon off as it was Friday it would give her some time to sort out some things, the company wanted her to move into the new office as soon as possible. She looked back at the reception desk as if looking back on her old life, she smiled to herself as she opened the door and walked out feeling like a weight had been lifted.
Later that evening.
Dawn had spoken to Simon about leaving he hadn't seemed very happy about it and she knew why because she always cleaned up after him and never complained they'd had a terrible disagreement, she'd told him he was a slob and she wasn't surprised his wife had left him, Dawn had stormed out the house and gone for a walk. As she walked she thought about all the thing's she had to do tomorrow, she was viewing a lot of houses tomorrow she hoped she would find one quickly she didn't want to be in Simons house any longer than she needed to, just then a noise snapped her out of her thoughts, the noise sounded like someone stepping on a branch, Dawn quickly turned round but there was nothing there, in the distance a owl hooted making Dawn jump slightly, She found herself in Riverview graveyard, she hadn't realized she'd been walking in that direction.
As she walked through the graveyard it was so quiet almost eerie, normally there were a few people about and cars passing now and then but tonight there was nothing, it felt very strange to Dawn, she noticed a vase on a grave, it looked like it was glowing, she turned and looked at it. All of a sudden a bright light shone from it, Dawn wanted to run but something seemed to stop her. The light became so bright she couldn't see the grave any more, she put her hand up to cover her eyes, as if drawn to the light she walked towards it her heart pounding in her chest as she did so. As the light started to dim the ghost boy appeared, Dawn felt scared, she wasn't the bravest of people but had to know what he wanted.
"What do you want?" asked Dawn not sure if he could understand her. "Mummy" said the ghost boy. the sound sounding like it was in her head "I'm not your mummy, why do you keep saying that?". "Mummy" the ghost boy repeated.
Everything suddenly started to go blurry Dawn blinked a few times but it didn't clear, then she felt as if someone was pulling her down as she felt herself hit the ground. Then floating in darkness she wondered if she'd fainted, she felt her head spinning as if she was drunk, she could feel the hard earth on one side of her body so she knew she hadn't fainted she tried to move but she couldn't, what's happening to me? was the last thing Dawn remembered thinking, then nothing as if someone had knocked her out.

Other Stories


Add a Comment

Please report any offensive comments so we can remove them. Use of bad language, unsuitable links or flaming may result in deletion of your account.

Add Smilie
Please log in to post comments

24 Comment(s) so far

Load more Comments New Comments are displayed at the bottom.

#15StoryNov 21, 2009

That was great. \:wub\: Wonder what happened at the end?

#16Little SeerNov 21, 2009

Good story.  Kept clicking for the next bit.  Very interesting.  Cheers \:\)

#17charrayNov 22, 2009

Great job on this story \:\)  5.0 \:rah\:

#18martoeleNov 22, 2009

Hey luckyoyo. Congratulations. I don't mind the first long text, it explained a lot so in my opinion it's usefull. A 5.0 for you. I will stay tuned for the next chapters...

#19tonya99rnNov 23, 2009

A great start!! Can't wait for the next part!! You did a wonderful job of writing this! Great ending!! Hope you post the next part soon!!\:\)

#20DragonQueenNov 27, 2009

\:rah\:  Fantastic screenshots and a great story!  \:wub\: it!  I look forward to reading the rest!  \:D

#21EnthroxDec 2, 2009

Amazing. Loved it. Great job!

#22topaz27Dec 4, 2009

Wow, wonderful story, can't wait to read the next chapter now \:rah\: \:wub\:

#23mogan44May 5, 2010

Great story, the boy ghost reminds me of a Dr. Who episode " Are you my mummy?" .  Excited to read on!

#24Dec 23, 2010

great story

Log in to TSR

Not a Member yet?

Register a new account

Already a Member?

Download blocked
Please turn off your ad-blocker to download.
If ads are a problem you can become a VIP member and enjoy an ad-free site.

Getting this message with no ad-blocker active?
Go here for help .