Welcome to the Childhood
Published Feb 20, 2011

Written By


Composer Artist

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Welcome to the Childhood (1: Eyes of the Childish)

((Author’s Note: Welcome to the Childhood attempts to be a stand-alone series that does not require back reading of the previous series, Tales from the Flipside. However… this will probably be a lot more fun if you’ve had a flip through the Flipsides. Enjoy.))

Welcome to the Childhood (1: Eyes of the Childish)

((Author’s Note: Welcome to the Childhood attempts to be a stand-alone series that does not require back reading of the previous series, Tales from the Flipside. However… this will probably be a lot more fun if you’ve had a flip through the Flipsides. Enjoy.))
The Simanski house (6:00 PM) In the Simanski backyard, it’s pirate time for Jules Simanski, his Uncle Jesse, and his teenage babysitter, Windy Whistler. [Jesse:] “We pillage, we plunder, we ransack and loot!”
[Windy & Jules:] “Drink up me hearties, yo ho!”
[Jesse:] “We kidnap and hijack and don’t give a hoot!”
[Windy & Jules:] “Drink up me hearties, yo ho!”
[Jesse:] “We’re mean motor scooters and seriously bad!”
[Windy & Jules:] “Drink up me hearties, yo ho!”
[Jules:] “Aye, but we’re loved by our mamas and dads!”
[Jesse, Windy & Jules:] “Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me!”
[Dani:] “Jesse, you’re supposed to meet Eve in less than an hour. Unless you plan on doing that as a sweaty pirate, you need to shower and change.”
[Jesse:] “That’s ‘Captain Jesse’ to you, wench!”
[Dani:] “Captain Jesse had better become just Jesse in about half an hour or he’s going to be late.”
[Dani:] “Jules, you should come inside soon, too, and get ready for your sleepover.”
[Jules:] “Sure, Mama.”
[Jesse:] “Be way funny if I did show up dressed like this, wouldn’t it?”
[Jules:] “Way.”
Jesse considers Dr. Evelyn “Eve” Elfman’s possible reception to Captain Jesse… and reluctantly decides against it. Eve has already stated that she and Jesse are meeting up tonight as “just friends.” Arriving in pirate costume will likely render his chances of changing her mind on that subject non-negotiable. [Jesse:] “I better go change. The doc isn’t nearly as much fun as you two. Wish me luck.”
[Jules:] “Luck!”
[Windy:] *mumbles* “Luck.”
Jesse fails to notice the lameness of Windy’s luck-wishing, but Jules does not. Lately, Windy always gets the sad face when the subject of his Uncle Jesse hanging out with girls comes up. Thanks to chatter on the elementary school playground, Jules has finally figured out why.
[Jules:] “Windy… why don’t you just tell Uncle Jesse you like him?”
[Windy:] “I can’t, Jules. Not until I graduate next month. It’s against the rules.”
[Jules:] “What happens if you break the rules? Do you get a time out? Do you have to clean your room and not get to play with toys?”
[Windy:] “Well… there are little rules, and then there are big rules, Jules. That’s a big rule. So if it gets broken, big trouble happens. Way more trouble than time outs and no toys. The police could put your Uncle Jesse in jail.” [Jules:] “Jail?! Like what happened to my Dad when he was in faraway France?!” [Windy:] “Yes. Like that. But don’t worry, Jules. I won’t tell him until after I graduate. Then it will be okay. Come on, let’s get you ready to go. I’ll drop you off at your sleepover on my way home.” Jules is glad he’s learned this valuable piece of information. He himself has been thinking he’d like to marry Windy, if she ever changes her mind about liking his Uncle Jesse. Now he knows if he told her about it, the police could put her in jail—and holy cowplant—you’d think that’d be the kind of thing they’d teach you on your very first day of school. Seems way more important to know than where to hang up your coats or put away your crayons. Jesse is 15 minutes late out the door to meet Eve. He would’ve been on time but he got distracted playing vintage Mario Kart with his twin brother, Jono. Jono was well aware that he was making Jesse late. That was the intention. Dr. Evelyn Elfman is Jono’s psychiatrist and Jono doesn’t want Jesse out with her, under any circumstances. [Dani:] “Jono, relax. You know why Eve agreed to hang out with Jesse. She’s just trying to get him to trust her enough to sit in group therapy with you.” [Jono:] “Yeah. And I also know women starting the night ‘hanging out’ with my brother have a habit of ending the night ‘hooking up’ with my brother.” [Dani:] “That’s not going to happen, Jono. Not with Eve.”
[Jono:] “Maybe it won’t. But not for the reasons you think it won’t, Dani.”
[Dani:] “Where are you going?”
[Jono:] “To figure out how I’m going to get my brother his date with Gwen Glover.”
The Sekemoto house (7:30 PM) [Jules:] “Hey! Hi, Leo!”
[Leo:] “Hi, Jules. Come on in.”
Although Leo Sekemoto has been over to the Simanski house to play several times over the last few weeks, this is Jules’ first visit to the Sekemoto house. Jules and Leo have the alphabet to thank for their recent friendship. In their classroom at Valley Elementary School, seating arrangements are alphabetical. Sekemoto, Simanski. Friends by assigned seating.
[Leo:] “My room is upstairs. Come on, I’ll show you.”
Jules is in awe. He’s never been in such a large house. It’s like a mansion or something.
[Leo:] “This is it.” [Leo:] “No, not over there. That’s my brother Sam’s side. You get to sleep in his bed tonight, but better not touch anything else of his. He’ll throw a giant fit.” This makes Jules want to touch things on Sam Sekemoto’s side of the room all the more. He may need to sit on his hands (his mama has given him that suggestion in the past). Jules knows that Leo’s brother Sam is a big-kid in Windy’s high school class. Jules doesn’t want to be the target of a giant fit from a kid that big. [Leo:] “I know it’s hard. He’s got some pretty cool stuff. But it’s not worth what happens if he finds out you touched. Trust me.” [Jules:] “Sam gets to graduate and be a grown up soon, huh?”
[Leo:] “Yeah. He wants to move out as soon as he graduates. He wanted to move out ever since he was 17, but dad wouldn’t sign the paper for his emancipation.”
[Jules:] “Whoa. What’s E-Man-See-Pay-Shun? Is it a word from Japan?”
[Leo:] “Nah. It’s this paper that says big kids are grown ups, even when they’re not yet. Lets them live somewhere without parents.”
[Jules:] “Huh. I never heard of that.”
[Leo:] “You sure about that, Jules? Your dad and your uncle must've had the emancipation or else the orphanage would've gotten them.”
[Jules:] “The what?”
[Leo:] “Um…”
Leo realizes his mistake. His father warned him about this. His father told him not to talk about what happened to Jules’ grandparents up at Pinnacle campgrounds. His father said it was mean-spirited to say anything about it unless Jules brought it up first. Leo knows his big brother Sam would probably say it anyway. But Leo doesn’t want to be mean like Sam. He wants to be friendly. Like Jules.
[Leo:] “… never mind. Come on and I’ll show you the rest of the house.” [Leo:] *whispers* “You have to whisper in here. This is my baby sisters’ room. That’s Kiku.”
[Jules:] *whispers* “Wow. She’s… small. She’s the smallest girl I’ve ever seen.”
[Leo:] *whispers* “Yeah. Maia’s a little bigger, see? But not much. Come on. We better get out of here before we wake them up. It’s way better when they’re asleep. Trust me.” [Jules:] “We’re going to have a new baby at my house, too. But he’s not going to come out of my mama for a long time yet.”
[Leo:] “You know it’s a boy? Your parents told you that for sure?”
[Jules:] “Um. No. Guess I was just hoping to get a boy.”
[Leo:] “Well, let me tell you what happened to me, Jules. I wanted a boy, too. I wanted it so bad, I even wished for it on my birthday candles. But we got Maia anyway. Then, when my parents said they were having another one for Christmas, I asked for a brother from Santa Claus. I was really good and I didn’t ask for anything else. Know what I got? A bike. And Kiku.”
Jules has no idea what to say to this. He was excited when his parents told him there would be a new baby, and in his head he’s already started thinking of himself as a big brother to a little brother. But what if it turns out to be a girl instead? If Leo is any indication, it sure doesn’t look like fun times. [Jules:] “Well… at least the bike part is cool.”
[Leo:] “Yeah, I guess so.”
Leo shows Jules around the rest of his family’s house. Jules meets Leo’s parents and Leo’s Grandma Yumi. Grandma Yumi is the oldest person Jules has ever seen up close. But Jules doesn’t get to meet Leo’s big brother Sam. Sam is “out somewhere” tonight. Jules is both relieved and disappointed by this news. Later, although he is tired, Jules lays awake after Leo has fallen asleep. Jules is glad he’ll be going home after breakfast in the morning. Staying over at Leo’s has been interesting, but it’s weird, not being in his own bed in his own house with his own family. And there’s one thing Jules can’t quite figure out. Even with this great big house and great big family, Leo seems a lot happier when he comes to play at Jules’ house. Shark Bate’s Bar & Grill (8:30 PM) Jesse Simanski is discovering that Eve Elfman may let her hair down when she’s not dressed for work, but she never really “lets her hair down” as the saying goes. Not for him. Not so far. Instead, he’s been sitting here in this bar feeling like he’s actually sitting in her office at the Pennylane Institution of Psychiatric Services (PIPS), fielding question after question and having his own questions answered with questions. The woman is a psychoanalyzing machine. [Jesse:] “You don’t get out much, do you?” [Eve:] “Jesse. I told you. This isn’t a date.”
[Jesse:] “So, if it were a date, we’d be playing a different game?”
[Eve:] “A different game?”
[Jesse:] “A different game than twenty I-want-to-shrink-you-but-not-piss-you-off questions?”
Eve almost smiles. Almost.
[Jesse:] “Oh, come ON, Doc. Laugh, will you?”
[Eve:] “It’s important to you that I laugh?”
[Jesse:] *groans* “Fine. I give up. Ask me whatever.” Eve is here because she wants both the Simanski brothers in group therapy. Jono is already her patient. Jesse is not. Eve believes that Jono and Jesse have spent the last nine years emotionally insulating and isolating each other, and while that may have been necessary to survive at the onset, she believes it needs to stop now. Just treating Jono’s illness will only go so far. She needs Jesse’s consent to treatment as well, at least in conjunction with his brother, and she’s not going to get that until she convinces him that there are aspects of his life that aren’t quite right. [Eve:] “Jesse, how many…”
Eve pauses to reconsider her phrasing. Had Jesse been nearly any other 25-year-old, she would have asked “how many women have you dated.” She’s fairly certain that won’t get her the answer she’s after in this case.
[Eve:] “…girls have you hooked up with in the past?”
[Jesse:] “More than ten. Less than twenty.”
[Eve:] “How many of those did you hook up with more than once?”
[Jesse:] “Maybe half.”
[Eve:] “How many of those did you actually consider a girlfriend?”

Jesse’s responses, when he gives them, are typically rapid fire. But he surprises Eve by taking his time mulling this one over. His eventual answer is equally surprising.
[Jesse:] “One.”
Eve is very careful to keep most of the incredulity off her face.
[Eve:] “One?”
[Jesse:] “That’s what I said. One.”
[Eve:] “All those others—ten to eighteen others? None you would call a girlfriend?”
[Jesse:] “Doc, we’ve been sitting here for over an hour and you still don’t get that I don’t like to repeat myself? Take me to your house.”
[Eve:] “Excuse me?”
[Jesse:] “Take me to your house. I want to see where you live.”
[Eve:] “Jesse, I don’t think—”
[Jesse:] “Yeah. You do think. You think way too much. I want to see where you live. You’ve been in my house, only fair I get to see your house.”
[Eve:] “Alright. But this is still not a date, Jesse.”
[Jesse:] “I already know you don’t mind repeating yourself as much as I do, Doc.”
The Elfman townhouse (9:15 PM)
[Jesse:] “This place used to be, what, a three-unit apartment building? Shrink business is good, huh?”
[Eve:] “This townhouse belonged to my parents. They’ve recently moved to a retirement community in the View.”
[Jesse:] “I’m guessing you’ve never had a repoman in here?”
[Eve:] “Not to my knowledge, no.”
[Jesse:] “Well, I don’t envy you. You’ve got the Alto’s as neighbors. That can’t be fun.”
[Eve:] “I’m rarely here, actually. I’m usually at—”
[Jesse:] “Work. I know. You work too much.”
[Eve:] “I enjoy my work.”
[Jesse:] “That all you enjoy?”
Eve realizes she has just lost control of this situation. Did he know being in her own house would disarm her? No. He had just wanted to see where she lived. He was curious. But he is adaptable (and not nearly as slow on the uptake as his demeanor suggests), and he’s picked up on the fact that she’s off her guard. Reminding him why he agreed to meet with her tonight in the first place. Most of the time, the extent of Eve’s feelings for Jesse Simanski that are not strictly professional are maternal. There is no logical reason why she should allow him within kissing distance… and if she lets him kiss her, it’s over. She can’t be his therapist. She can’t even be his brother’s therapist (although this is an ethical gray area, it is clearly black and white to Eve), which will set Jono’s treatment back weeks if not months while he is forced to adjust to another psychiatrist. Unbelievably irresponsible of her, if she lets Jesse kiss her. And yet, she nearly does. The sudden sound of drums reverberating through the entire house interrupts the moment. Jesse is instantly distracted, and drawn to the source of the noise. It takes a moment for Eve to collect herself enough to follow him. [Jesse & Denny:] “Who’s this guy?”
[Eve:] “Dennis, this is Jesse Simanski. Jesse, this is my brother, Dennis.”
[Denny:] “Heya. Call me Denny. Everyone does, except my egghead sister here.”
[Jesse:] “Yeah. I get that about her. She likes full names and words with as many syllables as possible.”
[Denny:] “Ha. That’s my sister all right. You’re not actually dating her, are you?”
[Jesse:] “Looks like not.”

[Denny:] “You a patient?”
[Jesse:] “Problem if I was?”
[Denny:] “Nope. The only interesting people my sister knows are her patients.”
[Jesse:] “Guess I am, then.”
[Denny:] “Cool.”
Just like that, the situation resolves. Eve is uncharacteristically lightheaded with relief. They did not kiss. The ethical line was not crossed. And he’s just agreed to treatment. More or less.
[Jesse:] “You’re pretty good with these.”
[Denny:] “I am GREAT with these.”
[Jesse:] “You in a band?”
[Denny:] “I was. Until they kicked me out last week. The rat bastards.”
[Eve:] “Dennis, you were too young for that band. They were playing bars.”
[Denny:] “It was my band, Evie—I named it, I wrote all our originals—MY band! And I graduate next month, what is the big freaking deal?”
[Jesse:] “What band?”
[Denny:] “The Woohoodlums.”
[Jesse:] “Seriously? That was your band?”
[Denny:] “See, Evie? He’s even heard of us.”
[Eve:] “Difficult name to forget, Dennis.”
[Denny:] “That is the POINT, Evie.”
[Denny:] “She just doesn’t get it.”
[Jesse:] “No, she sure doesn’t. But I do.”
[Denny:] “You in a band?”
[Jesse:] “Working on it.”
[Denny:] “Got a name?”
[Jesse:] “Repomen.”
[Denny:] “Any good?”
[Jesse:] “We would be. If we had a good drummer.”
[Denny:] “Did I mention I am a GREAT drummer?”
The presence of Eve is forgotten in favor of an immediate jam session. Eve, with some trepidation now mingling with her relief, takes the opportunity to quietly exit the scene. Although there is nowhere in the house she can go without hearing the Simanski-Elfman rendition of Billy Idol’s “Dancing With Myself.” [Director’s Commentary: Billy Idol’s “Dancing With Myself” can be heard here for free with a copy/paste to browser (can’t say for sure if this link will work for non-US browsers, apologies):]

((Special Thanks to:

* Pirates of the Caribbean song (lyrics altered a bit by Jesse and Jules)

* MsBarrows at TSR (broken cup buddy), LivingDeadGirl at TSR (3 ring binder, notepad and pen), emz666 at TSR (Nightmare Before Christmas poster), SRpantera11120 at TSR (Metallica poster), tdyannd at TSR (gently used posters), and CycloneSue at TSR (have a need for the craptastic? Visit her)

* Armiel at MTS (CAST painting), XJonasX at MTS (tattoo shop art), Purplepaws at MTS (stuffed frog, various toys), cmomoney at MTS (various shelf clutter), Wintermuteai1 at Simslice (repotruck, soccer ball, tennis ball)

* TSR’s Spladoum for ongoing Childhood collaboration with her character, Gwen Glover
* All those cc creators credited in my earlier series, Tales from the Flipside and Tales from the Cribt
* All those cc creators I’ve failed to credit by name, here or elsewhere… thank you

> Readers-to-the-end-credits—you guys still here, lol? Way biggest thanks for all of you. Way.))

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ShelleyBJun 22, 2011

Holy Cowplant! So many comments, so little time!! You are such a star! Thanks for building up a new Simanski (et. al.) series. I'm moving through yours and April's kind-of late, so hope I don't get the order wrong. This chapter is great fun, so on to the rest!! \:D

J_andrews8081Jun 7, 2011

This is the best story yet! I am totally in love with these characters!!! \:wub\:

FlatterApr 26, 2011

" least the bike part is cool" \:D Lots of wonderful humour and funny remarks. The pics are a class on its own again - even with my currently low band-width and epic loading times each one is truly worth the wait. Terrific \:rah\:

kalirinahApr 11, 2011

Your stories are all brilliant!! \:\)
During the weekend I read through all and I am hooked. Awesome pics and wonderful writing.
I am a bit lazy so I won´t comment on all. Sorry. \;\)

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