Don't Hesitate - Chapter Eight
Published Mar 31, 2013

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This is my first story so please Don’t Hesitate to rate / comment.

I would like to thank all the TSR (and other site) creators for all of the CC that may appear in my story.

Thank you and enjoy.

Chapter One:

This is my first story so please Don’t Hesitate to rate / comment.

I would like to thank all the TSR (and other site) creators for all of the CC that may appear in my story.

Thank you and enjoy.

Chapter One:
(Present Day)

I woke up and sat straight up in bed, my heart pounding like it was about to burst from my chest.

I hated dreams like that. They always had a way of making you feel things that you didn’t want to feel. I had a dream when I was young that my mother was making fun of me in front of all her friends.

When I woke up the next morning I felt so hurt and betrayed by her, that even though she was her sweet usual self that morning, I couldn’t shake the feeling and didn’t speak to her all day.

The last thing I needed right now, were dreams where I remembered how sweet Joshua was.
Looking at my bedside clock, I saw that it was only five o’clock in the morning.

“Great”, I groaned to myself.

I knew that if I lay back in bed my mind would just replay the dream so I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water, then sat in the dark at the dining room table, slowly sipping my water and staring out the window.
After a while I heard footsteps coming down the stairs, so I stood up and went over to the foot of the stairs to greet him.

“What’s wrong Charlie Bear, can’t sleep?” I asked, looking up .

Then I froze.

My heart skipped a few beats and I almost sat down where I stood.
Joshua was standing before me, wearing nothing but his boxers and a shadow on his face.

“Hi Quinn”, he said, coming the rest of the way down the stairs to stand in front of me.

“I came home a few hours ago and you were asleep, so I went to bed in the spare room, I hope you don’t mind?”
“It’s your house too” I said stiffly, moving to sit back down at the dining room table.

I picked up my water and took a quick sip.
Joshua sat down opposite me.

He just watched me in silence, aware that I wasn’t going to talk until I was ready to.

I sat there and slowly sipped from my cup until there was nothing left, trying to control my emotions.

Then, pushing my cup away from me, I spoke.
“So, explain it all away if you think you can”, I said not looking up at him.

“I can’t”, Joshua said. “All I can tell you is that I’m sorry. I never meant for this to happen, I never meant to hurt you.”

“I’m going to ask you a simple question and don’t lie to me” I said, sitting back and crossing my arms across my stomach.

“Did you……….. you and her, have you………?” I couldn’t bring myself to ask the thing that I knew was so important.

I looked up at him, pleading with him not to make me ask the question.
He lowered his head for a moment and then said quietly “Yes.”
He looked up at me, his eyes begging for my forgiveness.

I looked down at the table feeling the tears well up in my eyes.
The longer I sat there, the more tears appeared and all of a sudden I wanted to be anywhere else but there.

I stood up from the table and began to walk away, my heart aching.
I heard Joshua’s chair scrape back and was suddenly grabbed from behind.

For one startling moment I thought Joshua had gone crazy and attacked me, but he nuzzled into my neck and whispered “I’m sorry”, then he turned me around to face him.

His lips came crashing down onto mine, his hands holding my face to his. At first his mouth hurt mine, but then his kiss softened.
I just stood there unable to move and unwilling to kiss him back.

I could taste the salt of my tears as they trailed down my face, and only when he started to guide me backwards, towards the stairs, did I move.
“No”, I said pulling away and taking a few steps back.

“You think you can just kiss me into forgiving you?”, I shouted through my tears.
“You had an affair. You don’t get to kiss me like that anymore.”

I took a step back towards him.
“I don’t blame you for wanting an affair” I admitted, “We haven’t exactly been loving or affectionate to each other in the last year or two, but you should have talked to me. If you felt yourself going down that path, you should have told me.”
Remembering the kiss that I gave to Markus that same night, I felt a sudden pang of guilt myself.

“I kissed someone that night, too.” I admitted, looking down at his feet.

“After I found you planning to take a shower with that woman, I ran. I found myself at that bar I worked at, you remember, Rendezvous? I ran into Markus and, I kissed him. I’m not telling you this to hurt you; I just don’t want to be a hypocrite.”
Joshua walked back to the dining room table and leaned over with his hands palms down and I moved to stand next to him.

He sounded defeated when he spoke.
“We’ve both clearly forgotten our places in this marriage. I know I messed up first, and I know that my indiscretions drove you to yours. We’ve been so busy concentrating on ourselves and what WE aren’t getting out of this marriage instead of talking it through with each other. I love you Quinn, but I don’t know what that love means anymore.”

I nodded slowly trying not to show how hurt I was by that. It hurt but I knew what he meant.

I know I loved him but I couldn’t be sure if that love was as strong as it was 10 years earlier.

I wasn’t sure if I just ‘Loved’ him, or if I was still ‘In Love’ with him.
He turned to me and continued to speak. “I’m thinking of moving into the city for a little while to give us some time apart. I won’t go though, if you don’t want me too.”

He looked at me hopefully and seeing that I wasn’t going to answer him just yet he said “Well think about it today and let me know what you want to do. I’ll still head back tonight, I have meetings tomorrow.”

He hesitated a moment. “While I’m not sure what love I feel for you Quinn, there is definitely love there, and it kills me that I’ve hurt you.”
Ignoring his last statement I cleared my throat and asked “What about Charlie?”

“I would love to have Charlie on the weekends if you don’t mind?” He replied.

“While he doesn’t show it, I know I’ve hurt him too over the years and I want to try to make up for that while there’s still time. Do you mind if I hang around here until Charlie wakes up? I’d like to take him out for the day before I head back to the city this evening?”
“That’s fine”, I said pulling myself together.
“One more thing tough, and I know I’ll regret asking but I need to know”, I paused. “Do you love her?”

He shook his head slowly. “No. I called it off with her when you ran out that night”.

I let out a small sigh of relief. It wasn’t much but it was something.
Looking out of the window I saw that the sun was coming up, so to change the subject I asked Joshua if he would like a cup of coffee.

He nodded and said that he would go take a shower while I made it.

I went into the kitchen to make the coffee and I stared out the window while the kettle boiled, mulling things over in my mind.

I didn’t like the idea of a trial separation, but I knew that I couldn’t just let him back in so it did seem like the best option.
My thoughts were interrupted by Charlie entering the kitchen, still half asleep.

He seemed surprised to see me standing there. “What’s up buddy?” I asked him.

He looked at me and then upstairs, and suddenly wide awake he said “Who’s in the shower?”

“Your dad” I replied, smiling softly at him.

”Dad’s home!” he shouted and ran back up the stairs to greet him.
Despite the lack of time Joshua spent with his son, Charlie still adored him and I knew that right about now, Joshua would be trying to fend off an excited little boy while he tried to cover himself with a towel.

I smiled wearily at the thought.

Joshua adored his son too, and I knew that it would be hard for him to leave Charlie here this evening when he left.

Charlie could always bring a smile to his stressed father’s face when he would come home from work, and the small amount of time they did spend together was always a happy time for them both.
Ten minutes later, Joshua and Charlie came down stairs and they had coffee (Joshua) and cereal (Charlie).

They made their way out the front door for their day of quality time after I had hugged Charlie and nodded my head at Joshua, telling them to have a great day.

“Think about it” Joshua whispered to me as they left.

I watched them walk down the driveway to Joshua’s car.
Then I phoned Maggie.

I knew she had arrived home the night before and after sensing that something was terribly wrong, she advised she would be here in 20 minutes.

I hung up the phone and waited for her to arrive.
Thank you for Reading.

Chapter Nine.

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4 Comment(s) so far

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#1fruitopiaVIPApr 1, 2013

Great chapter

#2AlessaFayeApr 1, 2013

Awesome chapter! Can't stand that Joshua though, thinking he could have an affair, and then kiss and make up. Glad she put him in his place \:\)

#3xGinaaaApr 5, 2013

great chapter!! cant wait till the next\:\)

#4Daizzie21Sep 20, 2013

Cheaters make my blood boil.. He so needs to leave. She be stupid if she takes him back. Great story BTW hope to read more.

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