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Don't Count on Me
Published May 31, 2013

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Thank you for all the cc and the amazing artists who took their time to create it! <3

Thank you for all the cc and the amazing artists who took their time to create it! <3 This.. wasn't a part of my plan. All I was doing with you was using you. You were a simple distraction, something to ease my mind. But you deserve this much. This story is dedicated to you... I would type your name, but even that's too dangerous. It will bring up everything. And.. I don't need that. I don't want to be mesmerized by you anymore. I don't want to feel my heart flutter anymore. I just can't. My job isn't for the weak willed. It's for the ones who can't crack under pressure. Yet.. you managed to jump over my fences, to destroy my barriers, walls, and the glass wall that stood between us. ... I wasn't suppose to feel any of these heart-wrenching emotions...
.. Especially from you...
Don't get me wrong here. Once I started feelings these things, everything seemed brighter. I caught myself smiling and thinking about you simultaneously. Then we moved on to the next stage. The stage that made me feel complete and loved. The stage that made me believe that you are indeed my soul mate. After that, I knew I needed to do something to control these emotions of mine. I chopped off my hair to put myself back together. We ate in silence. You tried to strike up conversations over any topic, but I was too busy with my whirring thoughts. The thoughts that were organizing a clean escape. "We should go to China. I already have tickets, but I never used them, so why not now?" You proposed while heading towards the sink to wash the dirty plates. Every gear in my brain froze.
China... That would be perfect...
"Really? When can we leave?"
And it really was perfect. You made me elated, proud to be known as your girlfriend, excited, and most importantly, you gave the word 'love' a meaning. Let me say something, everything I felt was true. I never lied to you and I would only tell the truth. ...Especially to you... Don't think you don't mean the world to me because if you didn't, I would be by your side right now. When you proposed, I forgot about leaving. I forgot that I do not have a normal job. I forgot that I'm putting you in danger.
All I thought when I saw you on your knee was 'I want to be your wife and have a family.'
All I thought was that you were the most perfect man I have ever met and that I was the luckiest girl.
I said yes, you slid the ring onto my ring finger, we kissed, and then we embraced each other.
While embracing each other, my senses came back. In that quick moment, I decided this would be the best time to leave.
"I have to call my parents to let them know." I said over my shoulder. You eagerly nodded and smiled at me.
"Hurry back." You said, never losing that goofy smile of yours.
Once near the entrance of the hotel, I had already made a call to the airport. Pausing a bit in my escape, I looked over my shoulder, hoping you saw through my act, that you would be panting and yelling at me to not leave.
But those things only happen in movies..
Don't think that I don't want to be your wife. I honestly do, but maybe... you don't want to be with me anymore. I will forever wear this ring because you deserve that much and more.
I should have told you everything before we fell in love, but I couldn't bring myself to do so.
So... My loved one, my soul mate, my one and only... Don't think these typed words are empty...
Because they're not. Each letter, space, and punctuation hold hundreds of feelings.
Just please... don't count on me...
...Don't count on me to be next to you always...
..But please count on me to love you for everything because.. In all honesty..
You were my everything..."

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annawalshJun 7, 2013

Wow your words are just perfect! I loved it!

that nerdy girlJun 3, 2013

Wow, this is great \:D

RoxxaneJun 2, 2013

Good one \:rah\: Can't wait for more

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