HELP! Break it or Fix it?!

BlogpostAuthor: kanzenPublished: Nov 12, 2009Views: 519

*cough* ((pls take note that this has homosexual relationship issues content - no homophobic hypocrites allowed, thanks)) *cough*

Firstly, you can all call me Zen =] and well, Zen has a tinie lil problem. I've been in a relationship with a friend, let's call her Hibari (her last name), and so far, I'm not really that happy. No matter what effort I do to make things work for us, I always end up getting hurt.

When I arrange a date, a certain friend of hers always pops out - ALWAYS. Then few minutes later, they'll act like THEY're on a date and forget all about me.

Next is, she's friends with an enemy of mine. I really should be considerate and let her have time with that friend, but still. When she's with that friend, its as if she forgets about me...or even her other friends.

Third is when she said she'll help me shop for Christmas gifts, and then bailed out on the last minute coz she saw her own group of friends

Another one is when she went to the mall with this guy (also a friend of mine, which HURTS) secretly. She told me that she's still in school, while that guy texsted me that he's on the train when in truth is that they're together.

And now tonight, she never texted me a kind "hello, how are you?" but had the time to group message about her "happiness" of being allowed to go to some concert with her friends >_>

The list goes on...

I know that I should be considerate and let her be with her friends but she barely spends time with me...hell, we didn't even have a decent convo today.

~*~*~*~

If you're gonna ask how we end up...well that's a long story. But tell you what. I already had a long term crush on her. And that faithful night, when we got trapped at school...she chose to stay by my side over anyone else for the whole night - despite the fact that her "friends" are there. That's when I decided that I might as well give it a shot.

But now...it's more than choosing them over me...it's like I don't exist. D= sad~

Well any advice? ^^"

Story ∙ Nov 16, 2009

Wow, very sorry to hear that your relationship is like this now, Zen. Last I heard it seemed like it was going better than this. To the point, about what you should do - I honestly have to agree with what the others are saying as well. You should get her thoughts openly on this, and let her know yours. It's painfully obvious that you love her, but if being with her makes you always feel hurt in the end, maybe you should try to move on. Being hurt all the time is not good for you. You want to let her know your view point on the current situation; how you think she is barely spending time with you, about how you notice she goes off with her others friends at times when you are supposed to be together. Though not always true, sometimes people may do things that they are not able to notice within themselves, while others see it clear as day. Letting her know may open her eyes, if this is the case. If this is not the case, then I'd say you may want to consider moving on, to stop the hurt from coming to you in the end. -hugs- 

fredbrenny ∙ Nov 13, 2009

Deary....Love coming your way! I have to agree with all the above! Love yourself. Don't try to be someone you are not , just to please her. If it's meant to be it's meant to be and if it's not...it's not. I've been there...sacrificed all my believes to be someone I thought "he"wanted....in the end I was not real, not myself, and not the one he choose to be with in the first place... ahhh... we learn this way. It's not fun, but you come out a better person! May the force be with you my friend! Love and hugggs, Fred

MidnightRose VIP ∙ Nov 13, 2009

Here is my 2 cents worth (coming from a Mom)... we have all had these relationships in the past. You dearly love her and want to spend all your free time with her. She however, does not feel the same way. You are beggining to see that and yes, it does hurt very much. It is best for you to talk to her openly, and without malice to see how she really feels. If she cannot give you what you want... move on. There will be another person who will give you what you want in a relationship and who will return your love.

spitzmagic VIP ∙ Nov 13, 2009

Well sweetie, being honest here, you need to move on, you have only began your path, don't waste anymore time, just like what midnight said, talk with her openly and honestly, but set your terms. Find out what makes you happy outside of another person.  Set your bounderies and find out what they are and how much of them your willing to let down. If you like to paint do that, if you like to read do that, if you like to dance do that, if you like to sing do that. Do what ever it is that you enjoy. Happiness comes from within. Be happy with you and you will begin to see things in a different light and things will change and she will notice. Goodluck with it all..peace be with you.. barbara  

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