If I were a Sim...

If I were a Sim having babies,
I'd spin with my arms in the air,
I'd look for the neighbourhood toddlers
To ensure my child grew the same hair.

If I were a Sim with a garden
I'd love my new wrought iron gate,
But I'd walk anywhere rather than use it
No matter how much I was late.

If I were a Sim cooking omelettes
But your console had great-looking games,
I'd leave it and join in the action
Our dinner all gone up in flames.

If I were a Sim and was visiting
I'd sit down and expect to be fed.
And outstay my welcome for hours
Long after you'd all gone to bed.

If I were a Sim with some homework
By the mailbox is where it would land,
And if you should want me to do it
I'm sorry but I've joined a band!

If I was a Sim who was working
I'd expect you to collect me by car,
But you'll wait outside a good hour
Whilst I forget you and prop up the bar.

If I were a Sim with a date
I'd leave rudely to sit in the loo,
And then when I forget to phone you
I'd expect you to leave bags of poo.

If I were a Sim who adored you
I'd move you right into my home,
And although you did not mention children
All seven would become like my own!

If I were a Sim with a teddy
I'd use it to mock you and taunt,
Not knowing that when you die lonely
You'll come back to me just to haunt!

If I were a Sim with some money
You could change all my windows and walls,
But don't even expect me to notice,
When my shack is a stately new hall.

If I were a Sim who wrote poetry
It's not something I'd probably do,
You see there are some very bad at it
And one here is that Cyclonesue!