Mistress - The Jolly Nice Gal to Live Near...

Ok, Im Stumped! WHY has my X hubby gone and bought a house quite literally round the corner from me? why why whyyyyyyy Delilah? ahem... sorry about that. Seriously.. Why??!! There were millions of em to choose from so why move from another town BACK, not only to the same town, but quite literally, If i wasnt such a girl at throwing, would quite literally be a stones throw away from my own house? (Have you ever noticed that?! At school us girls could quite literally slaughter and butcher each other with hockey sticks, whacking each others shins with the cricket like ball, Blacken our eyes and bloody our noses playing Netball, yet just the simple act of throwing a tennis ball or any object for that matter results in a pathetic wildly inaccurate lobbing that goes nowhere near its intended target?!)

Anyway, indeed, Mr Xhub has now bought a house slightly too close for comfort. Rather than look on the negatives I will just have to assume that I must just be such a thoroughly nice gal, and such a fab neightbour. Nor shall we dwell on the fact that 6 years later and the aforementioned has yet to find an "other" let alone a Significant one. As long as he doesnt become "Stalker 3" Im okay with it... You know, I could write a novel about my life, It would beat hands down the likes of Corrie (or for those in the US, liken it to The Bold & the Beautiful or Dallas type sagas albeit not as "posh" and with no oil.. unless you consider the X's skin type and greasy hair of course...)

Ive had 2 Stalky type slightly obsessives. The first, in my dating times, forgot to tell me of his betrothal to another lady, and once Mistress was informed of this little faux pas, 1 unceremonial public dumping later, and Stalker 1 was formed, Cue sad figure lurking around my place of work to "talk" and upon discovering I had a new Beau, lots of bizarre text messages about how well "The Fog is Lifting" Stalker 2 was well aware of my then, and current Beau yet he had a perchant to tell everyone how in love he was, accidental meetings and so forth that escalated to the point where he was desperate to know if David was living with me or not by sending some poor chap on a mission to my house, to explain that due to a horrid car accident, he was suffering from acute amnesia and needed to know who was living in my house as well as me and the poor chap became very flustered when I remarked about the sheer detail he was able to recount for someone with amnesia... he suddenly felt the need to go and rushed down the street to speak with Stalker 2, thankfully never to be seen again... Luckily neither of these 2 had very much sense between them, and thus it never got really bad, just a bit sad!

Im doing that waffling thing again, so I shall stop for now, and wonder what tales of the bizarre I can come up with for the next installment of my Blog...

Next time on the Blog... Mistress discovers the joy (?!) of Gardening.. My Neighbours are Vigilante's and they all hate me.. and Mistress gives away Dave's entire Vinyl record collection.