DelCatDig16Oct 12, 2023

[Verse 1: Phineas]
You keep saying that you don't have rhythm
But listen what you're doing right there
With that stamp and a book
You got a real nice hook
Sounds to me like you've got rhythm to spare

[Verse 2: Sherman]
I have no idea what you're talking about
I've got as much rhythm as that chair
What happened to me was a tragedy
But I don't have to be a millionaire
Look, I got a sweet deal going on here
I got all the books that I can read
All these sweet old ladies
And this carpet from the 80's
What more could a librarian need?

[Interlude: Woman]
Ssh!

[Chorus: Sherman]
Besides, I ain't got rhythm
No, I ain't got rhythm
Said I ain't got rhythm
I ain't got rhythm!

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[Verse 3: Phineas]
You're kidding me right, y-you're kidding me
Don't you see what you were doing right then?
That's a wicked groove you were starting to move
Mister, you got rhythm times ten

[Verse 4: Sherman]
I think perhaps that you're not listening
I find it tedious to repeat
It's no big crime
I just can't keep time
I'm telling you I lost the beat
I don't need my face on T-shirt
Or hit a power-chord guitar
They were screaming my name
I guess it's a shame
But I don't need to be a rock star

[Chorus: Sherman, Phineas & Library Patrons]
Besides, I ain't got rhythm
No, I ain't got rhythm
Said I ain't got rhythm
I ain't got rhythm!
I ain't got rhythm (Sounds like rhythm to me!)
No, I ain't got rhythm (Seems like they all agree!)
Said I ain't got rhythm (But you're laying down)
I ain't got rhythm! (Some funky syncopation!)
I ain't got rhythm (But you got that beat!)
No, I ain't got rhythm (Look at them, they're stomping their feet!)
Said I ain't got rhythm (It's time for you to rock)
A brand new generation
Brand new generation
Gonna rock a brand new generation
Because I ain't got rhythm!


[Interlude: Woman]
*sigh*
Would you just go join the band?

[Part 2]

[Chorus: Library Patrons & Sherman]
Ain't got rhythm!
Hey, hey!
Ain't got rhythm!
Hey, look at...!
Ain't got rhythm!
Look at that trick!
Ain't got rhythm!
Check it out! Look at me!

DelCatDig16Dec 05, 2022

Oh yeah!
I have got something to say!

I have been burned by vague lesson plans
And a free-floating curriculum
I like my rules, baby, etched in stone
Because you know I am going to stick to them

[Baljeet and Phineas]
Can I get a syllabus? A little discipline?
Judge me on a scale of A to F
You wasted all my time
Learning how to rhyme
And left me hanging from a Treble Clef
Somebody gimme a grade
I need the man keeping me down
Somebody gimme a grade
Is there a red pen in this town?
Somebody gimme a grade
I already said it i need the extra credit today
Somebody gimme a grade
And make it an A

[Baljeet]
Ooo, I am so upset!

I am stone-cold honor roll
I won't be told how to vent

[Baljeet and Phineas]
I won't cry or sigh I'm here to testify
Up with the establishment
My parents understand me
For conformity inside of me
Which I can help the system out!
I ain't not gonna waste my summer
Getting beatings from my drummer
Put a mic in front of me and ill shout

Somebody gimme a grade
You know I'm gonna wreck the curve
Somebody gimme a grade
The only letter I deserve
Somebody gimme a grade
This isn't a request
I demand there be a test today
Gimme a grade

DelCatDig16Oct 19, 2021

Candace speaking: AHHH! AAAAAHHHHH! AHHHH! AAAAHHHHH! AHH!
Street Performer 1: Now somebody, anybody, everybody scream!
Candace: AHHHHHHH! There are squirrels in my pants!
Street Performer 1: That girl's got some serious squirrels in her pants.
Candace speaking: There's squirrels in my pants!
Street Performer 1: Tell me what's making you jump like that!
Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!
Street Performer 1: Ain't got no chickens, Ain't got no rats.....
Background singers: S-I-M-P,
Candace and Background singers: Squirrels in my pants!
Street Performer 1: S to the I to the M to the P,
Then maybe you can be moving like me...
Street Performer 2: Step right over and watch me put it down...
Candace speaking: Squirrels! Squirrels!
Background singers: (S to the I to the M to the P)
Street Performer 2: Step right over and watch me put it...
Background singers and Street Performer 2: S to the I to the M to the P!
Street Performer 2: Who you got back home, watering your plants...
Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels In My Pants!
Street Performer 1: How can I qualify for government grants?
Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels In My Pants!
Street Performer 2: Yeah... Hypnotize me, put me in a trance...
Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels In My Pants!
Street Performer 1: Got an Aunt Florence living in France...
Background singers: She can't see the-
Candace speaking: Squirrels in my Pants!
Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it down...
Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!
Background singers: (S to the I to the M to the P,)
Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it...
Background singers: S to the I to the M to the P!
Candace: AAH!
Street Performer 1: Wow! She had actual squirrels in her pants.
Street Performer 2: We just got served.