You Know You're Getting Old When.....
Hey! Thought I'd celebrate my birthday with a look at some of the things I've got to look forward to - and thought I'd share them with you! * You and your teeth don't sleep together. * You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any. * At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal. * Your back goes out but you stay home. * When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture. * It takes two tries to get up from the couch. * When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio. * When happy hour is a nap. * When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.. * When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it. * When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age. * When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there. * Your idea of weight lifting is standing up. * It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired. * Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer. * Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr. * You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. * The pharmacist has become your new best friend. * Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot. * The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals. * It takes twice as long - to look half as good. * Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work. * You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time. * You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there. * You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good. * You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore. * You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. * You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it. Happy Birthday to the Mad Cow - me tonight!