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Broken
Published Jun 4, 2010


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Written By

converse02

Storyteller
26544Views4.5Rating

Page 1 / 19

First story in a long time.
But. Enjoy. :]

First story in a long time.
But. Enjoy. :]
He could hear it. It was cracking, breaking... crushed.
The misery flooding his veins... the tears falling.
Darkness seeped in, clouded his mind, and his breath caught.
"I can't..." he thought, "make it..." and the pressure doubled.
It was the final blow and he collapsed. Broken. Finally broken.
{scene change} As she entered and sat, she shuddered. The sound, the smells, the white...
All of it tried to hide the stark reality that Death was a frequent visitor.
What was she doing here again? Why was this place becoming so known to her?
She sighed and looked down, "No point in bringing my own misery in here" she muttered.
"Seems to me that you have yet to grow out of talking to yourself." He mused.
Startled, she looked up and realized Andrew was next to her. Too next to her.
"Seems to me that you're too close to my personal space... so back up some."
He smiled and took a seat next to her, "You never change my sweet Gloria."
'Of course. Always trying to make jokes. Nothing changes.' she thought to herself.
Annoyance started to seep in but she held her tongue. Instead she decided
to ask the obvious question, "If I may.. but what are you doing here?"
His humor disappeared and he grimly replied, "Same reason as you. I was told to come for Jackson."
She looked away again. Looking at people walking by, their faces...
Looking at anything or anywhere, except Andrew's face.
She knew what she would find there and she wasn't interested.
She didn't want his comfort. Instead she replied with an angered response, "Leave. He's my brother."
Andrew couldn't deny that her words always hit a nerve.
Although her reaction was somewhat expected, her words were still loaded and shot.
She did not want him around. And he didn't know how to not be around.
"I'm staying" was his simple response. "Whatever" she mumbled.
Before anymore could be exchanged, someone called out to them.
"Family for a Mr. Jackson Avery" Quickly she stood up.
She started walking towards the door but before entering,
she turned to see whether or not Andrew was following right behind her.
Surprised at seeing him stay put, she gestured for him to come.
He looked at her, eyes full of sorrow, and simply shook his head.
"I'll wait here" was all he said. The nurse urged her on
and she gave him one last look before turning and walking off.
{scene change} "You said you weren't going to bother with him anymore " She yelled.
"I say a lot of things my sweet. You of all people should know this."
"You lied to me! You said that you'd get your information and leave!"

He looked at her red-rimmed eyes, the tears streaming down her face,
and the anger building up... She loved him. How pathetic.
"Oh Aiden, keep that rage to yourself. I have no time to try to
pity the fool nor take "your feelings" into consideration" he replied dryly.
"That's just like you, right Adrian?" she retorted, "you feel nothing."
His annoyance quickly shifted to anger... he didn't want to deal with this.
"Ha! You can think what you want but I'm not the one who fell in love here.
You deceived and broke the spirits of the one you supposedly loved, not me!"
"Shut up Adrian! You don't know nothing about it!" she growled.
"Don't get mad at me Aiden for doing what I was supposed to be doing.
I went and finished the job that you couldn't!" he said coldly.
{scene change} He sat at his desk trying to concentrate when a knock came at his door.
"Come in" he replied. She entered and immediately started off.
"You're not telling me the truth. Jackson is far worse, I can sense it." she angrily said.
He looked into her eyes and knew he would have to tell her eventually.
"Jacquelyn. What are you doing here?" he responded tiredly.
"I just told you. So tell me what you're not telling me because I'm not leaving until you have.
And don't lie. I know when you are." she warned.
He sighed, "Fine. Take a seat and we'll talk. But calm down."
She sat and waited. "I want the whole truth. Tell me what I need to know."
He waited for her to calm down but knew she wouldn't. So he continued.
"I won't deny the fact that Jackson's condition is urgent. Possibly critical.
But there's not much we can do to help that. His emotional state is clearly
suffering and the battle within himself is slowly coming to an end... I don't know if he'll make it."
End. :]

Comments... thoughts... are nice.
So please do tell me what you think.
And are "scene changes" too much? idk
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11 Comment(s) so far


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#2barbara93Jun 5, 2010

wow...amazing....\:\)) i realy like this story...\:D

#3Golden97Jun 5, 2010

Brilliant Chapter! \:rah\: I Love The Screenshots! This Sounds Like It's Going To Be Very Intresting, I Would Like To Know More About The Characters and Their Backgrounds Though. \:\) - Katie

#4fadsadJun 5, 2010

Wow. Great storry oh my god!!!!! you're a brilliant write! I am definitely going to follow this story

#5MangioJun 6, 2010

the scene changes make the story a bit difficult to understand... i wonder who are the characters; are they related? brillant screenshots, well written. love the expressions \:rah\: cant wait for more

#6oldmember_CezyJun 6, 2010

good screenshots and great story

#7Emo_princess_8374Jun 7, 2010

It. Was. Brillant! I really enjoyed it it was really intresting \:D 5.0 from me \:\)

#8stephyslayerJun 12, 2010

this was amazingly done! I'm loving the screenshots \:\)
the scene changes are abit confusing now, since it just started, but as the story continues and we find out who everyone is, it wouldn't matter \:\)

#9martoeleJun 17, 2010

Great story but you could do without the scene changes! \:D

#10Jennifer_RJun 21, 2010

That was excellent! \:rah\: Very mysterious and I like the 'scene changes', they're something different. Luckily I noticed the second part has been published. I've got to know what the happened to Jackson. Great screens too btw! \;\)

#11muiseJan 6, 2011

\:rah\:

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