Tony Lothario's Blog #4
Published Feb 24, 2007

Written By



Page 1 / 74

I think this may be the last time I do this. I'm back where I started, same room, same person, very different circumstances.

And if this is it, I hope you enjoyed the ride.

I think this may be the last time I do this. I'm back where I started, same room, same person, very different circumstances.

And if this is it, I hope you enjoyed the ride.
I have to go back a month. Probably about 6:30 a.m. I hadn't slept much.
I'd gotten sort of used to my sister Camilla showing up at odd hours, trying to 'take care' of me, but it was 6:30 in the morning. And there she was, carefully setting down bowls of cereal. Judging from what she was wearing (what WAS that she was wearing?), I'd bet she'd been out all night.

"Cam," I said, "what are you doing here?"

"Feeding you, " she said happily. "Sit. Eat."
I was not very hungry. I'd spent the night half awake, nerves on edge, thinking of Ginevra.

"So," she said in a bright voice, "what'd you do yesterday? MJ called me and said she saw you downtown with a girl. Who is she? Is she nice? Do you like her? Are you going to call her?"
"Maybe I did," I said. I didn't even know MJ was back in town. Surprised she hadn't called. And she definitely wasn't around yesterday, unless she was hiding in the trees. MJ is impossible to miss.

"Cam, were you out all night? You've got some kind of chains thing going on there. You want a t-shirt or something?"
Cammie glanced down at herself, shrugged, and went on as if she hadn't heard a word I said. "Are you going to call her? MJ said she knew her a really long time ago when they were kids, don't remember where, not school, whatever, but she's really pretty and MJ said she's from that new family that moved in across the street from Don, don't remember the name, Pizza or something. Is that right? Do you like her?"

"Piacenza, " I said absently. "Her name's Ginny." I looked up and smiled at my little sister. "I think I do like her, Cam."

She put down her spoon, gave me one of those huge Cammie smiles, and said, "Well, I'm outta here, then. You go call her, Tony. You listen to me. Can you clean up?"
She never cleans up. And she can't even pour cereal without spilling it all over the place.

I cleaned up, wondering a little bit why Morgan Jones, aka MJ, one of my best friends from way back, hadn't called me if she was around. Didn't matter -- she'd call if she wanted to call. One of those friends you can count on but you don't worry about.

I forced myself to wait another hour, then I found the number Ginny had given me and called her.

"I thought you said to expect a call," she said, always that laughter in her voice. "What happened?"

Nonplussed for a moment, I said, "I'm calling."

"You let it go a whole evening, though. I'm disappointed. But maybe you're on Mount Olympus time."

"All right, Lady, you've got me. I'll be there in, say, about three hours. Is that fast enough for you?"

"I guess it will have to do." She paused, and in a softer voice, said, "Should I wear a dress?"
It was a couple of days after Valentine's Day. I have never enjoyed upscale restaurants (I think I own exactly one suit), but the Copa hit a reasonable balance. And it was the right color on the outside, anyway. Ginny liked it, more than I do, probably. "This is really nice, " she said. "Do you come here often?"

I wasn't sure how to respond to that, and decided honesty was the best policy. "No," I admitted. "I was here once, with my Dad. I remembered they don't require a coat and tie."

She looked like she was trying to swallow a laugh. "Well, it's very nice, Tony. Dress code notwithstanding."
We played around in that place almost all afternoon, between the pool table upstairs, the bar, the dance floor. I had never gone out with someone who was so much pure fun. Or so good at the things I enjoy. I could beat her maybe half the time, even when I was playing flat out. And she never 'let' me win at anything. "You know," I said, pulling her into a close dance, "I like you, I like you a lot."

"And you know that after a first date?" she said, getting right up next to me. Very warm, smooth skin.

"It's not our first date, " I told her. "It's our second date. Remember? I asked you to go somewhere else the day we met. That counts as the first date."

She laughed. "All right, I'll give you that one."

"Come on," I told her, "I want to show you something. Someplace else."
I drove a few blocks away to one of the little downtown parks. This is my favorite since there's nothing here but a couple of benches and a fountain. No swingset. No coffee. Nothing but peace. Ginny looked around. "It's beautiful."

Without another word, I pulled her over, hard up against me, and kissed her. I don't think I was entirely sure what her reaction was going to be, but I'd been thinking about her almost to the exclusion of everything else, and I wanted it.

She moved up into that kiss just about as hard and fast as I'd been imagining. I couldn't breathe.
Even then, some part of my mind was screaming, All right, Tony, slow down!

Enough. I wanted to kiss the girl, I kissed the girl. She had a hard time coming up for air herself. Don's not the only one in the family who knows what to do with a woman. And he may not even be the best.
I'm going to fast forward here, skipping a month. I was with Ginny every day, or almost every day, as much as I could manage. And yes, I was falling in love with her. I wasn't sure what she felt. Let me clarify. I thought I knew, but I didn't trust it.

And where is the great Don L, you're asking? Wasn't he supposed to be sharing this? In that month, I hadn't seen much of him. As far as I knew, he kept his distance from Ginny. He certainly stayed clear of me.

But I have to let him do the next piece. He's going to have to find another place to logon, though, since he's not coming in here.
I've got my own computer, Tony. Don't need yours, thank you very much. I didn't bother your girl. Not going to say I didn't think about it, but I didn't.

Things weren't going right at home, either, which made it hard. I was having problems, not just leaving Ginny alone, but with all of it and the more it bothered me, the worse Ellen got. She wasn't on my back about it, but she was in a bad mood all the time, and she never felt good. It had started to worry me some. I wondered if she might be pregnant again, but she never said anything.

And I handled it the way I always did, by walking out on it.

I guess you're right, it was about a month later. I'd gone downtown, not meaning to do anything, just wanted to get out of the house, have a drink, see some people.
And there was your Ginny, outside the club. She had a friend with her, a tall redhead in a hot outfit. Good thing you like them casual, because I don't think I've ever seen your girl really dressed to kill. No offense. You got your taste, I got mine. "Hey there, ladies," I said. "Got something going tonight?"

Ginny gave me a funny look. "MJ, this is Tony's cousin, Don. Don, this is MJ."

Not much of a name, MJ. Had to be short for something, but Ginny didn't go any further.

"Hi, MJ," I said. "Nice outfit."
Now, there are some women who can give you a look, and you know what it means, and there are some who look right straight through you, and there's a third kind I have trouble describing. This was one of those. She looked at me, real green eyes, tan skin, gorgeous woman. I couldn't tell what she was thinking -- she might even have been interested. Or the exact opposite. Something was going on anyway.

"I've heard so much about you," she said, "for so many years." She had a strange little smile on her mouth. "It's a distinct pleasure to finally meet you."

Ok, I thought, one of Tony's friends. A distinct pleasure -- who says that?
Right then, I decided I was going to see what would happen if I put some effort into Ginny. Ignore the redhead with the attitude. Stupid, yeah, with the friend or whoever she was right there and everything, but I just couldn't resist. And I already had an angle.

"Ginny," I said, "did Tony ever tell you about Eden? What happened there?"

She looked uneasy. "No."

"Well, why don't we go back here and sit down for a few minutes where we can have some privacy and I'll fill you in."

She glanced back at the redhead, who gave me a long hard look, then just shrugged. "Ok," Ginny said.
"I really appreciate it," I said, pouring it on now. "I never get a chance to talk to anyone about it. It's so nice to have someone take an interest in how I feel."

I don't think she bought it, probably too much. "Sure," she said, kind of uneasy still.
I led her to the back of the club where hardly anyone ever goes. MJ followed, stood there looking at Ginny, looking at me. I kind of avoided looking back at her.

"This is an alley," she said. "Are you going to be ok here, Gen?"

"I'm sure it'll be ok," Ginny told her.

MJ pulled something out of her purse, fiddled with it a second, and gave it to Ginny. "Forgot to give you your cell back. Thanks for letting me use it. I'll be just inside if you need me."
She walked away, long legs. I don't know, something about the woman... As soon as the friend went inside, I started. "You know, Eden and my wife were running a betting ring on boyfriends and getting engaged." I think I might have paused for a second. If Tony hadn't told her this, he was not going to be happy about it that I did, but I didn't have a better angle.

"She only married him because of a bet. It just broke his heart."
She got a strange expression on her face. "I had no idea," she said. "That's horrible! I don't really understand what you're saying, but it sounds dreadful! And your wife, too?" "Yes," I said, trying for the cracking voice thing. "I... I only stayed with her for the sake of our child. But of course it hurts, all the time."

Again, she looked like maybe she didn't believe me about what I'd done, but it looked like she believed what I'd said about Tony. Not exactly where I wanted to go with this.
"That's awful," she said. "I'm so sorry." She looked down for a minute and said in a very quiet voice, "Tony must have been devastated."

"Oh yeah, well, we .... I mean, both of us were!"
I slid over and casually put my arm around her. "I never get the chance to talk about this to anyone. It means a lot to me."

Ginny stared at me. Then she got up.
I got right up, grabbed her, thinking, if I don't go for it right now, I'm not gonna get another chance.

And for a second or two, she let me hold her. Long enough for me to think, I've got it.
Then she almost jumped away from me like she'd got an electric shock. "What do you think you're doing?" she shouted. "Get away from me!"

Ah geez, I remember thinking. Well, that didn't work. Best I could come up, but not good enough.
Ginny walked right up to me and started yelling. "I am NOT interested in you! Don't you get that?! Quit it, you jerk! Three words for you -- LEAVE. ME. ALONE."

Yeah, I got it. You know, you give it a shot. I wasn't all that torn up about it since it was a real long shot to begin with.
Ginny walked off fast, heels cracking on the sidewalk like little gunshots. No doubt, NO doubt, she was mad.

I turned around to find her friend had come out of the bar and was looking at me, still with that smile on her face.

"What're YOU looking at?" I started to walk away, too, but something about the way she was smiling kind of turned my gut.
"Her cell phone was on," she said in just as nice a voice as you could want. "I rang Tony just before I gave it back to her. Unless he hung up, he heard the whole thing. My guess is that he didn't hang up."

I stared at her. "You're lying."
"No, I'm not lying." If anything, the smile got wider. "Tony's an old friend of mine."

The bottom fell out of everything, one big drop, sidewalk going down, everything. My God, if Tony...
"What the hell are you?!" I yelled at her. "Some kind of red fairy from hell?!"
"Just think of me as one of the Greek Erinyes, the Furies," she said, still with that smooth, easy smile and voice. "Alecto, probably. The relentless one."

"I don't know what you're talking about! You're not Greek, not with that red hair! What does that have to do with anything? Why would you do that? You don't even know me!"
When she just stared at me, I got up in her face and yelled, "Tony's gonna kill me! Why'd you do that? I didn't do anything -- just gave the girl a hug!"

"I cannot believe," she said, "that you're from the same family." She glanced down the street, her mouth tightening almost as if she was trying not to laugh. It didn't make any sense! "He won't kill you. Mess your face up some, which I'll admit would be a shame, but he won't kill you."
I was seriously in for it, and I knew it. Tony really liked the girl, and he'd warned me off already. Maybe I could talk my way out of it. Nothing happened anyway.

I was using a lot of four letter words on the way to my car -- turned around to see if the red queen was still there. And she was. I stared right at her. No way was I going to back down.
She looked straight back at me, still laughing. I was in a hurry to get out of there, but I thought I saw her even blow me a kiss. Witch, I thought, angry, kind of scared now. I didn't know how I was going to get out of this, or keep Ellen from finding out... I'm picking this up again, although I know how it ends, so it's without much enthusiasm. Yes, of course I heard the phone call. MJ the Fury to the rescue. She's been a friend of mine for a long time. However, it kind of reminds me of what Don said when I dragged Eden over there to 'reveal all'. Sometimes it's not a good idea. And I still haven't talked to MJ, and she hasn't tried to contact me.

I called Ginny that night and told her I wanted to talk to her the next day at the park. I was angry. Enraged. Disgusted. And, without any real justification, I was almost as angry with her as I was with Don. Ok, I was a lot angier with Don -- there would be no stopping him until I got him somewhere and knocked the crap out of him, which I was prepared to do. Looking forward to it.

But Ginny was more important to me than anything I could do to my cousin.
I spent a long, uncomfortable night struggling with myself, then got up and went to the park. I waited there a long time, and had started to let the anxiety eat at my nerves.

I was sitting on the bench looking at some idiotic statue of a giraffe, half hidden in a bush as if someone intended to make you believe it was alive, when I heard her come up behind me. The park was crowded, full of people all shouting and laughing at the same time, dogs barking. But still I knew she was there before I saw her.
"What happened last night?" I asked her, trying to find the right tone. Calm, I kept telling myself.

"I guess you heard what happened," Ginny told me. "MJ played that stupid trick with the cell. Apparently you heard everything that happened. I know she's your friend but I didn't appreciate that."
I took a breath.

"Ginny," I said, "I'll deal with Don. I want to know why you let him touch you."

"I didn't LET him! He grabbed me, Tony! I was surprised! Come on -- if it had happened to you, it would take you a second to react, too! I told him to leave me alone! You had to hear that part! What are you so afraid of?"
"Because I know Don! He takes whatever he wants and he always has! I don't want him to take you!" I know I yelled at her. A lady with a big dog glared at me. Maybe the dog did, too, I don't know.

"I don't like him, Tony!" Ginny shouted back at me. "I don't want anything to do with him!" She paused a second. Looked down at the grass. Then, in a very quiet voice, she said to me, "I've never had sex with anyone, Tony. You really think I'm going to give it away for the first time to your stupid cousin?"
I could not process what she said. It was noisy, outside and inside my head, too. Finally, in a very very careful voice, I said, "Ginny, are you telling me you've never..."

She smiled at me. "I never managed to fall in love with anyone. You heard me. So, no. Never. I've been waiting."
I couldn't come up with any intelligent response. I hadn't pushed her, but that was MY choice. Based on fear, more than anything else. I needed time to be completely sure. If nothing else, Eden had taught me caution.

She looked down at her lap, or the pond, then looked at me. "What happens if I was waiting for you, Tony? What happens if I fall in love with you?" she asked quietly.
Somehow I had not expected her to say it first. I looked at the side of her face, the curve of her cheek, the way her hair fell down her shoulder.

"Come on," I told her, "let's go over there where it's a little quieter."

We walked over to the far end of the pond, next to yet another fountain.

I took her hand, and said, "Ginny, what makes you think you got there before me?"
"I had at least a fifty percent chance, Apollo," she said, smiling. "Based on everything else, at least a fifty percent chance I'd beat you to it."

I believe I can honestly say I had never, never felt this way before. I was way over my head in love. I wanted to cry, to kiss her, to grab her and take her on the spot, to protect her forever, all at the same time. "Not this time." I kissed the palm of her hand. "Not this time. I think we're tied."
I took a deep, shaky breath. I knew what I wanted to do, but I didn't want to do it here. Or right now when I wasn't thinking clearly. "Ginny," I told her, "I have to sort this out. I'm sorry. Will you come over later today?"

A little shadow crossed her face. "All right. Are we ok?"
I hugged her, struggling to figure out exactly what I felt, apart from that heavy, demanding, urgent need to keep her with me. I'd been burnt before; I wanted another few hours to think before I made up my mind. There was no doubt, though, there had really been no doubt, not since the first day I met her, that I was in love with her.

"We're ok," I told her. "It's not that."

"Tony," she said quietly, "this isn't about me. And it isn't about Don. It's about Eden. Don't give her any more power. Whatever you decide, do not let Eden make the decision for you."
When Ginny arrived in the afternoon, I held her on my lap, stalling. Late afternoon sunlight filled the room. She looked as golden as she claims I do.

I pulled her into my arms and said, and I still hope my voice wasn't as unsteady as I thought it was, "I love you, Ginevra."

She smiled. "I loved you from the moment you said you were 'Tony, Tony Lothario'."

In that moment, that perfect moment, the telephone rang.
I couldn't believe it. Cousin Don. My first reaction was anger -- I didn't need to hear from him or talk to him, not now, not anytime soon.

"Tony!" he said, in a loud voice over a lot of odd background noise. "I need your help, man!" There was something wrong -- his voice had a terrible, rough edge.
The anger I'd felt vanished. "Don? What's wrong?"

"It's Ellen, Tony! She's real sick -- the ambulance is here and I got to have someone to stay with Gabe! Can you get here quick?"
"Give me five minutes!" I had to shout -- there was some kind of noise in the background, sounded like a siren, a lot of people all talking at once.
The light started to fade outside, afternoon moving into evening. I hung up, or maybe Don hung up.

"Ginny," I said, "I have to go. I'm sorry. There's an emergency over at Don's house. Ellen's been taken to the hospital."

She stood up, came around the couch and looked at me.
"Do you want me to come with you?" she asked.

I was having trouble putting my thoughts together, but right at that moment there was nothing I wanted more than to keep her close to me. "Will you?"

"You know I will. Let's go."
When we got to Don's house, it was quiet, no ambulance, nothing. Don was climbing the walls, though.

"Thanks, Tony," he said, "I gotta go!"

"Wait a minute! What's going on? Where's Gabe?"
"He's asleep, in bed!" Don yelled over his shoulder as he went for the front door. "I don't know when I'll be back!" Ginny and I sat on the couch and looked at each other. This was certainly not the evening I'd planned.

"What do you think happened?"

"I have no idea. I know Ellen hasn't been feeling well for a couple of months now." I paused, uneasy. "You know it might be a long night here, I'm sorry, love."
It was a long night. At one point I thought she might fall asleep on the couch, and I got up to give her some room, but she didn't.

"Hey," I said, sometime in the middle of the night. "I love you, Ginny."

From the couch, she looked over her shoulder at me and smiled. "I love you, too, Tony. Quit worrying about me."
A few hours before daylight, I heard Don's car come up the driveway. Park. The lights went out. He got out of the car and started up the sidewalk and just stopped. Ginny and I looked at each other. "Go on and talk to him," she told me. "I'll just hang around close by."

I paused a second. "Gen, will you come back with me tonight?"

"I'm staying with you," she said, "wherever it is we end up tonight."
I went outside. "Don?" I said carefully. "What happened?"

He looked straight at me, almost no expression. "She didn't make it."
I didn't understand, couldn't make any sense out of what he'd said. "What do you mean?"

"She didn't make it, Tony. She was pregnant. I didn't even know it. She bled inside and they couldn't stop it." He stopped, took a long ragged breath.

Horrified, I said, "Don, are you telling me Ellen is dead?"
He put his head in his hands, not crying, or I couldn't hear him cry if he was, but he was breathing like someone who had just run a marathon.

"Don?" I tried again.
He pulled himself up, looked at me, he was shaking, I could see it from where I stood, and said, "She died, Tony. I got to stay with her, and she knew I was there, I guess that's something. And thanks for coming over. I won't forget it."

I could not, could not, believe it.
"Ah, no, Don! I'm so sorry!" I grabbed my cousin and held him for a minute, and I was right, he was shaking.

"I can't leave you alone here," I told him.

"I'm not alone," he said. "I've got a son to take care of. Thanks again, Tony."
Ginny was standing on the other side of the car, her face white. I walked over to get her and looked back to see my cousin drag his hand across his face.

"Tony?" Ginny whispered.

"Come on," I said, "we have to leave him alone. Let's go home."
As soon as we got back to my house, I looked at Ginny and just whispered, "Hold me, just hold me."

I stood there, held tight. She didn't let go. I was stunned, some combination of disbelief and fright. All this time I'd been worrying about someone 'taking' me again the way Eden did, without ever realizing I could lose everything, everyone I loved, in an instant.
I pulled away from her, and said, "Ginny, this is not what I'd planned, but I don't want to wait. I can't, not after tonight. I love you, and I want to marry you. And I'd do the whole go down on the knee thing on any other night, but just tell me. Just tell me yes." Right there, in the driveway. Even the flower gardens were weedy.

"Yes," she said simply. "Any time. Any place. I love you, Tony."
I stepped back a bit.

"Tony?" Ginny said. "Are you crying?"

I couldn't even answer. Yes, I probably was. Grief, love, fear, desire. A potent combination.
This is Tony Lothario, signing off. You close one door and ten more open. And I know I'm not done dealing with what's behind them. But I've got someone waiting for me. Finally.

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31 Comment(s) so far

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#22Feb 27, 2007

Seems like the word awesome has been overdone here. I'm going to use it again, though! The stories with the most views here are not necessarily the best -- no good suggestion, but keep up what you've been doing and don't worry about the traffic. Doesn't seem to have any relation to the quality of the story.

Alex\:rah\: \:rah\: \:rah\:

#23gummypeachesVIPFeb 27, 2007

wow!! Great story! Excellent job! I hope that you don't quit here!! We need more stories\:rah\: \:rah\:

#24KismynameFeb 28, 2007

That was beautiful! Please write more stories.\:wub\:

#25eshuffMar 2, 2007

Honestly, I compare whatever I do to Decorgal. Kind of like comparing myself to Da Vinci or Picasso. I know I can't get there, so it's hard to keep trying. Anyway, I thinking about it. Everyone here does wonderful stuff -- you all keep going at it!

#26eshuffMar 2, 2007

good grief, can't even write now! "I thinking about it." I'm thinking about it. Please take the time to check out what a sims story can be at That's the real thing.

#27LlyrielMay 18, 2007

I'm crying right now. Can't believe Ellen is dead. I liked her so much! I can't believe it! Maybe Don's joking or something. It's really sad that this is what it took for Tony to realise he couldn't keep himself from committing in fear of getting hurt. But I guess this is how life is sometimes... tragedies make us realise how truly valuable those around us are. Close down or open up... everyone's different. I can't believe Ellen is gone. I'm going to miss her. Don't know how Don will cope. She was the love of his life... Waaaaah!

#28RIDanceJun 9, 2007

Hey, it's me. I read the first four parts of your story tonight and really enjoyed them! I love how you've told it from the characters' points of view; they are very witty. It's a very emotional story with many twists and I'm looking forward to reading the rest (hopefully tomorrow- I'm beat for the day!). \:\) Excellent work!

#29Jul 7, 2007

WOW! Amazing! And I can't believe Ellen died...poor Don!

#30ZayuryNov 26, 2007

\:\( Oh no! That was so sad...poor Ellen...poor little Gabe.... Oh wow! I had really missed so much, I am so glad I finally got a chance to read the back stories, wow! This is AWESOME! \:wub\: \:rah\:

#31KenvjoFeb 25, 2008

Wow! what a chapter! That was excellent!\:rah\:

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